Me, Weaz

Perhaps on this lovely Caturday morning you are thinking to yourself, “WHAT has Weaz been up to since Ralphie got the lion cut? I mean, that lion cut was delightful the first 50 times I saw it but now… WHERE IS WEAZ?”

I’ll tell you. Mostly she’s been sitting on this white couch.

Here I am again.

When she’s tired of sitting on the white couch (which is not even supposed to be white but I ran out of the money necessary to purchase a slipcover, you see) she spends most of her time opening every single cabinet in my entire apartment. This is not a newly acquired skill since the move; she used to open the cabinet under the sink to get her treats. But opening every cabinet every day is definitely new. And annoying.

And then, when she finds time, she also meows. Like howling meows. I think she’s looking for Stew. Sometimes I feel bad for her… but mostly it’s just irritating. She also likes to stare at things I can’t see, which sends me into a panicked oh-my-GOD-is-it-a-bug-or-a-ghost frenzy. I assume it is neither.

It’s true that Weaz has been the star of the Caturday show for the last two years and you are probably missing her but now that Ralphie looks like THIS:

Stop, Ralphie time.

It’s hard not to share a million pictures of her. [Joke's on me! That's my phone hovering entirely too close to her butt in that picture. I don't even know how she got it.]

Fierce

I think she’s been looking for Stew, too. Or Waldo. If I talk in Waldo’s voice (yes, each animal has a different voice; it’s complicated) she looks around for him. She spends most of her life these days in my bed and won’t move for anything but food. And I get a sneaking suspicion she expects me to bring that to her… in my bed.

Puh-lease shut the hell up.

But wait, can you feed me first?

Time for bed. Big wild fun plans for Saturday.

Bitch please, you're working today.