sweettater

You Should Know…

In Life on September 27, 2011 at 11:40 pm

Homemade Nutella ice cream and brownies

I still haven’t taken my trash out (I’ve taken it out of my house but the big can outside is covered in spiders) and have no plans to do so. I finally changed my air filter and it only took me three months. I will take four right turns before trying to turn left without a stoplight and I see nothing wrong with this. I “mop” my kitchen floor with paper towels tied to my shoes and know my mom will probably call in about 15 minutes to tell me to buy a Swiffer. I have an ipod that hasn’t had music added to it since 2004, which is when I got it, and I don’t even care. I’ve been “borrowing” Internet from my neighbor for three months and have no plans to get my own.

It’s just that, now that we’re rounding out a solid 2+ years of blogger/reader relationship, y’all need to know the dirt so we can decide if this will carry on long term, ya heard?

Anyway, remember that time I wanted to go to Nicaragua but I didn’t have enough money and you guys totally rallied and threw together, oh you know, A THOUSAND DOLLARS in a day? And that the fundraiser brought in exactly $4 more than I needed? Which was exactly enough to buy a cheap bottle of champagne to celebrate? No big deal. (Read all about Nicaragua here.)

BIG GIANT DEAL

That was one of the single most amazing moments of my life, adding up the totals on Stew’s iphone, and I have not forgotten it. Thank you for that. I don’t know why I’ve been dwelling on it lately (other than the fact that it is an incredible act of human kindness), but I think it has something to do with the fact that I’ve been really taken by all of the good in my life. And I don’t mean the good house or the good car or the good clothes or the good (read: not empty) bank account because you guys know I don’t have any of those things. I mean the good people in my life.

I feel like for the last few months I have had daily moments of: “Thank god for you” in which “you” is not the same person each time. Nope. I somehow have a surplus of “yous” for whom I am so unbelievably grateful. It’s like I’m drowning in good people. My life runneth over with good people. Good people at work. Good people at school. Good people in yoga, online and just out and about. I love it.

I think part of it is that there are lots of good people everywhere all the time. But I also know that a lot of it is because (what I thought was) my entire world collapsed over the summer. I was alone and exposed and vulnerable for the first time in a long time and I think it broke down a lot of walls that I kept up to keep myself safe. And so now it’s like I’m walking into this whole new world (cue Aladdin music) with my heart open like it’s never been and I’m just so… happy.

In yoga (you knew that’s where this would go, right?), they’re always telling us to push into our mats, to push off the ground rather than collapse into it. And (as is so often the case) I think it’s the same in life. You can use rock bottom as a crash pad and collapse into the hard times or you can put on your big girl pants and use it as a launching pad to push yourself out of the hole.

So today was a good day. I went to bed at a decent hour last night. I practiced yoga at 6am to the soundtrack of an early-morning thunderstorm rolling in. I ate the most amazing homemade Nutella ice cream with brownies to celebrate a coworker’s birthday and then also got to celebrate Jessie’s birthday (who, yes, is one of those good people I was ranting on about) with macaroons and gossip.

Jessiiiiiiiie

It was a good, good day. Thank you for you.

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Pumpkin Smoothie

In Smoothies on September 27, 2011 at 8:09 am

OHMYGOD PUMPKIN

People who tell you they like pumpkin do not like pumpkin. They like sugar and cinnamon and nutmeg and sometimes the color orange. They like pumpkin muffins and pumpkin bread and pumpkin pancakes and pumpkin donuts and, dear sweet baby Jesus, PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES–which, as I’m sure you know, contain no pumpkin at all. (Please read Rachel’s post on pumpkin spice lattes for my stance on those damn things.)

AH!

Make no mistake, I like all those pumpkin things, too. I’m just fully aware of the fact that it’s not because I’m a raging fan of the gourd. I just like those warm fall spices and anything that signals the coming of my favorite season. When it comes to pumpkins themselves, I’m a seed girl myself. Carving pumpkins is perhaps my most favorite holiday activity and I always hoard the seeds for roasting.

ANYWAY, I put some pumpkin puree in my green smoothie this morning. HOLY BALLS PUMPKIN.

ORANGE CANDLE

I also added cinnamon AND nutmeg (whoa, Katie, calm down) and took a picture of it next to an orange candle. My standard smoothie includes:

1 frozen banana
1 – 1.5 c unsweetened rice milk
1/2 c frozen spinach
1 Tbsp peanut butter
1 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
Sprinkle of cinnamon
And today… 1/3 c PUMPKIN + NUTMEG = FALL

I can’t even imagine what my neighbors must think when I walk out onto my porch in a nightie with a towel on my head to take a picture of a bowl of green glop next to an orange candle. Of course I walk around in a nightie. I wear pants as infrequently as is socially acceptable (and sometimes when it’s not).

Truth.

The moral of this story is that we all need to calm down about pumpkins. And stop wearing pants.

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Stonehouse 27 on Facebook

Desk Dining

In Products on September 26, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Fancy shmancy

I eat at my desk. A lot. I’m not proud of it. It’s not something I enjoy or recommend or celebrate. There’s a lot to be said for stepping away from your work, sitting down at a table and enjoying a real meal the old fashioned way. But since Americans (all of us, myself included) refuse to do this, it’s at least nice to know we can throw together a meal free of freaky additives and unfamiliar ingredients in less time than it’ll take to heat it up in the microwave.

For me, the secret to eating decent food at my desk is: frozen vegetables. That and Tupperware.

So much Tupperware.

I’ll usually make a big batch of grains (rice, quinoa, millet, etc.) on Sunday to use throughout the week. I then fill my trusty Tupperwares with the grain plus frozen veggies (green beans, peas, peppers, spinach, etc.), a protein (like cubed tempeh or canned beans) and some kind of sauce (usually liquid aminos + nooch, mmmm sauce or tomato sauce).

BAM. A meal.

Since I kind of consider myself to be the master of throwing a couple things in a plastic tub and calling it a meal, I was happy to accept a product review for desk-friendly dining.

Stonehouse 27 features a line of “exotic Indian sauces without the effort” and Lundberg is a family-owned rice business. (I’ve worked with Lundberg before because I love them and their products… see here.) They asked me to combine one sauce, one heat and eat organic rice bowl and no more than three additional ingredients to create a quick, healthy meal to eat at my desk.

I went with the cilantro coconut sauce (despite the fact that I hate cilantro) and the brown rice bowl.

Stonehouse 27 cilantro coconut sauce

Lundberg organic brown rice bowl

To this I added:

Fresh kale
Frozen peas
Cubed tempeh

I microwaved the kale/pea/tempeh/Stonehouse sauce mix for 1 min 30 sec and then the rice bowl for 60 sec on its own before combining the two. Tah dah! A meal.

What I appreciate about these products is that they’re no-nonsense with their ingredients:

Nothing weird.

I could make that sauce, but… who has time these days? Not me, that’s for sure. I used to poo-poo shortcuts like ready-made sauce and especially precooked rice. “It doesn’t take that long to make your own,” I used to say. Yeah well… that was back when I wasn’t working seven days a week. I’ll take this shortcut and run with it, thank you.

Want to try Stonehouse sauces and Lundberg rice bowls?

Check out the sauces here and the organic rice bowls here and let me know which flavors you want to try. I’ll randomly select five winners at the end of the week.

Want more?

Lundberg on Facebook

Where to buy it:

Here in Charlotte you can find Stonehouse 27 at Earth Fare, Fresh Market and Food Lion and Lundberg products are available at Earth Fare and Healthy Home Market. Not in my neck of the woods? Find a retailer near you…

Stonehouse 27 store locator

Lundberg store locator

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Fitness

Salutation Nation

In Yoga on September 26, 2011 at 12:47 am

lululemon southpark

Once upon a time several weeks ago I went to Salutation Nation and never blogged about it. September is kind of a blur.

This day though, 9/10/11, was slow and steady. Memorable even. I woke up hungover and reeking of smoke (not mine) for the last time, for that morning was the official kick off of my Sober September. We all know that lasted all of about three days, but it was fun while it lasted and I felt particularly motivated and invincible on this day.

SUN

I got up late. Chugged water. Held mentally unstable conversations with my cats. Stuffed my yoga mat into the basket of my ridiculous orange bike and rode to the event. I practiced with my friends out in the (hotass) sun. And I stole some watermelon of a tray of food that wasn’t mine. It was a beautiful day and the beginning of the end of summer.

CLT bloggers everywhere you turn.

(Above with Jen, Brittney and Jessie)

Salutation Nation 2010 was an event I attended when I first moved here last year, and it’s kind of funny to look at my life now versus then. Last year I was in transition and uncomfortable and feeling very out of place.

I feel so at home now. I love that.

Someone asked me today how my breakup was going and it really threw me off. I had to kind of pause and think for a minute before I finally responded: “It’s just not something I think about every day anymore.” And it’s not. Part of it’s that I’m really outrageously busy and part of it is that it’s been almost three months, a full season. I already let the breakup define my summer and (if I’m honest with myself) in many ways let the breakup define me, as well. I lived with a lot of regrets about the past and concerns about the future. But recently (and perhaps for the first time in my life) I’ve been living in 24-hour increments and I swear to you it’s changing my life.

Tonight at a team meeting we had to identify how we felt right then at that moment.

happy.humbled.fearful.hopeful.

That was mine. I think it’s accurate. And, dare I say it, I think I like it.

CLT Fashion Week

In Events on September 25, 2011 at 9:45 am

Make it work?

Friday night I attended my first fashion show and decided pretty early on that I was in over my head. This is why I recruited the help of my wonderful friend-I’ve-never-met Maggie to coach me through it. After seeing the two dress options I narrowed down, she sent me detailed instructions to wear option #1 (a white dress) with:

My hair in a high, sleek bun
Brightly colored tights
Fuchsia lipstick

This was my take on it:

Tah dah

I’m pretty opposed to color almost all the time so I went with black tights. My hair doesn’t play the “sleek” game so I threw it on top of my head the same way I do in yoga. I couldn’t find a fuchsia lipstick that didn’t make me look crazy so I went with red.

Since all I know about “fashion” I learned from television, I appreciate Maggie swooping in and saving the day.

CLTFW

With Diana (The Chic Life)

Thanks, Maggie

I attended with Diana, Katy, Kelly and Jen because Charlotte bloggers roll deep everywhere we go.

Katy, Jen, Kelly

Hey, girls, heeeeey

We settled into our seats in the front row and then I proceeded to turn into a grotsky little entitled judgmental biatch. Seriously. It’s like someone put a big ol’ shot of bitchass in my vodka soda because I started tearing the event a new one and simply couldn’t stop.

First of all, this character opened the show:

Why?

My sources tell me she wore that dress every single night. After Cruella’s grand entrance they started played the Mission Impossible theme song while the judges paraded out with tooly male model body guards flanking the sides of the runway. It was all just very high school talent show.

But then the vodka started to sink in and this awesome rapper hit the stage and I finally shut up about how “perfectly amateur” it was. Because I would know, right? Because I’ve been to so many fashion shows. Shut up, Katie.

Yeah boyeeeeee

Anyway, once the show got rolling I really did enjoy it. The following are some of my favorites:

Silhouette = winning

Weddiiiiiing.

Give me that.

AWESOME

FAVORITE

That last one is made out of trash. Seriously. Part of the show involved designers and amateurs alike who put together outfits using recycled materials. Trash, basically. It was amazing.

I had a lovely time and took back all the whiny things I said before I got drunk. It was a great event and now I want to go to fashion shows every weekend. Make it work, y’all. Make.it.work.

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Caturday 9/24/11

In Cats on September 24, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Good day.

Whoa, Caturday. Slow down. It’s already after noon and still I have not updated the world on the state of Ralph and Weaz. Maybe it has something to with me living in a constant state of RUSHING SOMEWHERE AT ALL TIMES. I can’t even handle it.

I’m currently blogging this from a coffee shop near work, counting pennies to buy a much needed caffeinated beverage (because I left my money, ID and sanity in the purse I carried last night) and trying to figure out how I’m going to pull off this day without passing out. Good work, Katie.

ANYWAY, the cats are furious with me this weekend because I’m spending all my time with these little nuggets:

Gabby... Gabbie? Gaby? I don't know.

Tia

I did swing by my house this morning long enough to feed the cats and wash the week’s worth of dishes that has been tormenting me even from afar. Just knowing they’re in there makes me crazy.

Naturally, as soon as every single dish in my house was clean, Weaz decided to sit in the window directly above them with a cloud of cat hair in her wake.

I do what I want.

I DO WHAT I WANT

I’m pretty sure that I when I get back to my house on Sunday, I will die at the ~~hands~~ paws of this one…

I know where you sleep.

I’m so exhausted from last night’s Fashion Week shenanigans. The cats are too.

(Didn’t you know Ralph and Weaz are on Facebook? Duh.)

But you know what I get to do? I get to work all day uncaffeinated because I can’t find enough pennies. This is gonna get ugly. But come 10pm, I’ll be curled up with a chihuahua in my lap watching cable that I don’t have to pay for. Thank you god.

Save me a spot, Tia.

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The Best Kind of Babies

In Life on September 22, 2011 at 3:30 pm

The Standard.

Ah, what better way to kick off the workday than with a room full of babies doing yoga…

This morning we hosted a “Mommy & Me” yoga class that I had forgotten about until I busted up in the store 15 minutes late and cursing the rain only to find a bunch of little nuggets waddling around the black stretchy pants. “Yessssssss,” I thought. “Babies that are not mine… the very best kind of babies.”

For a fleeting moment of insanity I thought to myself: “GIVE ME ONE NOW COMMENCE PREGNANCY I WANT A MILLION BABIES IMMEDIATELY.”

But then… THEN the little nuggets started running all over the place, which meant that the moms started running all over the place. These women were doing warrior II with a baby on their hip (but only when they weren’t chasing said baby around the store) and they did not appear to be bothered at all by the fact that there was a tiny human standing under them during downward dog. Good for them. Seriously. But just as I was thinking, “Jesus, do they do that all the time?” I realized, nah, no babies for Katie… MORE CATS.

On loan...

I did get to spend some quality time with Christie and her little nugget so that should hopefully hold me over for a while. But if you ever need a babysitter (NOT a baby momma), you know who to call.

Sometimes when I think about how my mom was pregnant with my brother at my current age, I kind of have a panic attack. And then I kind of love my parents even more. Because they opened their lives up to us in the peak of their glory years and never looked back. I’m just not selfless enough for that yet.

My dad likes to tell me this story about how once when I was dancing in high school someone leaned over and said, “Look at Katie. She’s going to be a movie star.” To which my dad replied, “No. She’s going to be a mom.”

And I will. But I’ve also got some other pretty major things to tend to first. Don’t get me wrong. I want kids. A lot. But I’m pretty sure there are still some vodka mini bottles in my purse from Saturday night. You see what I’m saying? I’m just not there.

Study, Katie.

Back to the books…

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Sometimes I Study

In School on September 22, 2011 at 3:12 pm

PB chocolate petit four and iced coffee at midnight

I’d like to thank Amelie’s for fueling not one but two late night study sessions this week. Yes, twice in the past 72 hours I’ve been hunkered down in my home away from home inhaling French baked goods and slamming caffeine into the wee hours of the morning. It’s a tough life I lead.

If you’re ever there when I’m there, please don’t say anything to me because I’m supposed to be studying. Please also take away my phone and my computer and bring me one more petit four.

In addition to having some damn good baked goods, Amelie’s also ensures I get at least a couple servings of vegetables in. Isn’t that nice of them?

Tomato bisque and tomato pesto tartine

Eat your vegetables, y’all.

I’ve started eating dinner around 11pm. This is not normal, I realize, but at least I’m eating it. I’ll just pretend I’m still in Spain where midnight dining was par for the course. Mmmm, Spain…

Fall always makes me want to be in Spain. It’s all boots and bocadillos and brick streets. It’s the only country I’ve already visited twice and would go back to again and again and again. They do it right. “It” being life.

It’s funny, though… As much as I’d like to visit Spain right now (and all the time), I’m kind of at this oddly peaceful point in my life where I don’t feel a constant nagging urge to run off somewhere else. I truly can’t think of a time in my adult life when I’ve been happy where I am. It’s a nice feeling.

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Content.

In Life on September 20, 2011 at 11:49 pm

Lunch in an empty fountain

Yesterday was definitely a wear-yoga-pants-all-day-and-can’t-nobody-stop-me kind of day.

Ya heard?

I was up all night studying for a test I would fail no matter what and was in no mood to bother with such nuisances as buttoning my pants. I’m sure you understand.

Despite wearing yoga pants constantly, yoga and I have actually been on a little break lately. Did I forget to mention that? OK, so maybe it’s only been, like, four days. But it’s been four miserable days. My back has been on the fritz–like, spasming and going numb–since I started doing drop backs so I figured it’d be best to take it easy… Right. If you know anything about me you know that is a complete lie and that I would have totally been going anyway if I could just stop sleeping three hours later than planned. That’s the real problem.

Anyway, I’m sure yoga has been cheating on me with other girls while I’ve been away, but he says a break is a break and he can do what he wants. (Yoga is my boyfriend in this analogy, obviously. Do try to keep up.)

Whatever, Ross.

Tonight I finally got back in the proverbial saddle and returned to the mat. It was a creaky, unbalanced but beautiful practice followed by the heaviest savasana of my life. I was passed.the.fuck.out. The focus of the class was on contentment, and I’m happy to report that’s how I’ve been feeling as of late. In fact, I’m quite happy where I am at the moment.

Were I not on my way to dinner at my friend Rachael’s house afterwards, I would’ve laid there all night. But no, grilled pizza was calling my name. And we all know how I’ve felt about pizza these past couple weeks. If all goes as planned, I’ll be drunkenly inhaling these leftovers at 3am sometime in the next couple of days…

Griiiiiilled pizzaaaaa

Pizza was one draw but I was really there for…

EEEEEEEEEEE

I’ll be babysitting Rachael’s little nuggets this weekend. They have clothes. DOGS IN CLOTHES CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. Get ready for the Caturday to end all Caturdays…

In other news, I’m going to Charlotte Fashion Week this weekend and I need to look awesome because we’re sitting in the front row and all I know about fashion shows I learned from The Hills.

SO… I’m wearing one of the following that I already own:

And I desperately want these shoes, which are currently on hold for Katie at the Off Broadway Shoes on South should anyone care to purchase them for me, MOM.

WANT

I prefer #2 for several reasons.

I will inevitably spill something on myself if I wear white.
Supposedly I’m not supposed to be wearing white after Labor Day anyway.
The back of #2, which you can’t see, is awesome.
It would bring me great joy to sit in the front row of a fashion show wearing a dress that cost me $8.99 and shoes that cost (my mom, hopefully) $100.

Nevertheless, I can’t decide if #2 paired with those hotass shoes will make me look like a total slutpuppy. Discuss.

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Dear Body…

In Life on September 20, 2011 at 2:15 am

A thank you / apology for my body

Sorry about Saturday night.

I didn’t mean to forget to feed you dinner, slam vodka and beer and SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS into your face, dance you around on stage until you sweat straight through your jeans and then neglect to shower you the next day. I also didn’t mean to keep putting on that random man’s hat. That was dirty, wasn’t it?

I hope you accepted my thank you/apology in the form of VEGETABLES and that you won’t hold this little incident over my head tomorrow morning when I want to be at yoga at 6am but you want to be asleep. What did I ever do to you?

Ohhhh yeah. Right.

Oh. And you are also bothered that I worked the entire next day instead of resting? And that I then kept you up until 2am studying for a test I should’ve studied for over the weekend instead of doing, I don’t know, THIS:

SQUEEEEE

In that case, please also accept this expensive-ass kombucha, coconut water and organic fair trade latte. Surely these things will put me back in your good graces.

Also this.

I need you, body. You’re all I’ve got. If you can tough out this quarter-life crisis with me, I’ll shower you in all the yoga and green smoothies and sleep and, yes, even showers you can stand.

Are you with me? Good.

And assuming I slip up and, I don’t know, stay up until 2am on a Monday eating veggie burgers and sweet potato fries, can you promise me (pretty, pretty please just this once?) that you’ll get me up for yoga tomorrow anyway?

I’m doing this for your own good, body. It’s a tough life, kid. Buck up.

Wow, Saturday.

In Life on September 18, 2011 at 10:19 am

Soooooy latte

Wow wow wow. If someone had told me that days off were this great, I’d probably stop working seven days a week…

My Saturday went from professional to perfectly relaxed to properly smashed, and I feel like this recap will not do justice to how incredibly flawless these 24 hours were.

I started the day off with my dietetics hat on giving a speech at the Carolina Society of Gastroenterology Nurses Conference.

Celiac disease!

I know what you’re thinking… “Why would you (a student) tell nurses (the professionals) how to do their jobs?” To which I would say: “RIGHT??” I don’t know. Not a lot things I do make sense, but if you’re already questioning my actions this early the recap, we’re gonna have a problem come 3am…

SO… since the presentation had been looming over my head all week and ended up being a smashing success, I headed out afterwards for some celebratory shopping.

Plaza Midwood

RIP cute little jacket

Bask in the glory of that adorable little jacket I bought because I promptly lost it 12 hours later whilst dancing around like a fool. I am devastated.

After that I had a proper brunch (what is this, a Saturday??) at my favorite Flying Biscuit Cafe. I even ventured forth from my tofu and tater salad comfort zone and got… tofu scramble, which I was informed is pretty much the exact same thing minus the salad greens. I’d still call it a success.

Flying Biscuit tofu scramble

And then… THEN it was time for Nicole’s bachelorette party.

Get it, girl.

The theme of the night was HONEY BADGER DON’T CARE, which is a video you need to watch immediately if you don’t know what I’m talking about. Caitlin got us all matching tshirts and we were quite a sight to be seen parading around the streets of Charlotte…

Hostess Kelly

I want this right now. All of it.

Eat your vegetables. Even when drinking vodka.

Everything Kelly made was amazing and as I lay here hungover and hungry and without any food because I drunkenly ate it all last night, I really really wish I had this entire spread sitting next to me in bed.

This was only my second bachelorette party but I knew we were going hard or going home.

YES

Diana got the memo, too, and busted all up in that night with a beer in a paper bag.

Winning.

And this is where things start to get a little hazy for my drunk ass…

I bet I had four of these grapefruit martinis before we even left the apartment…

Oh no...

My “I <3 cats” bag was full of two bottles of wine and a fistful of vodka mini bottles. I was wearing a honey badger on my shirt and honey badgers don’t give a shit. And then I proceeded to consume untold numbers of shots and beers (??) and whatever else was handed to me while I was dancing around on stage like a drunkard (and losing my cute little jacket waaaaah).

Here we go

Caitlin wants to be the bride apparently

When I got up this morning (feeling pretty great, surprisingly), evidence in my kitchen suggested that I ate a pizza when I got home last night. At 3 o’clock in the morning. Again.

Katie.Levans. Calm down.

It was easily one of the very best days of my entire year.

See ya, Sober September. It was ~~not~~ fun while it lasted.

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What is This, a Blog?

In Life on September 17, 2011 at 1:13 am

Tofu, avocado, sprouts, lettuce

Is this real life?

I don’t even know what’s going on. My life has been a blur of kombucha, lattes, celiac disease and social events I just can’t turn down. I’m giving a speech about celiac disease this morning [IS IT SERIOUSLY THIS MORNING ALREADY??] for 150 (hopefully) kind nurses at a conference for people who, let’s be honest, should probably know more about celiac disease than I. Rather than gear up for this, say, last week some time, I waited until, uh, last night to do it all. Perfect.

In the interim, I was:

Chugging lattes

Letting people cook for me

And prancing around in 60-degree weather

I also broke sober September… twice. Don’t worry about it.

Maybe somewhere in there I neglected to blog every day. Perhaps you noticed. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you… with tonight’s bachelorette party. Awwwwww, shit. Just you wait.

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Caturday 9/17/11

In Cats on September 17, 2011 at 1:00 am

Hello, Weaz.

I have to give a speech about celiac disease in front of 150 nurses in 8 hours and yet… here I am at 1am on a Friday night writing a mf Caturday post. The things I do for these creatures…

Have you heard of the 5 Love Languages? Of course not. Let me enlighten you. (It’ll eventually be about cats.)

So the five love languages are different ways people like to express and receive love in a relationship, and (supposedly) you should fall into one of the following languages:

Words of affirmation
Quality time
Receiving gifts
Acts of service
Physical touch

I must just really love love because I’m a tie for quality time and acts of service with physical touch and words of affirmation tied in a close second. Gifts are waaaaay down at the bottom for me. As Pink said, “Shorty got a job, shorty got a car, shorty can pay her own rent.” I want your time, not your money, which can actually be harder to come by…

ANYWAY, the point is that I have not been spending nearly enough quality time with the cats, who I love more than anything in this world. AND they do not perform any acts of service for my benefit.

NOPE

And while I appreciate that they want to be near me, this is not exactly the physical touch I want waiting for me in my bed every night…

Great.

But there they are. Every.single.night. Without fail.

Good for me.

I’m not ready for my speech tomorrow at all, but I did at least lay out a cute little outfit to wear. Which Weaz is currently sleeping on. Perfect. This is my life.

Live it, love it... betch.

Mmmm, Day Off.

In Life on September 14, 2011 at 11:56 pm

Well... that was weird.

Remember that time I called you guys “kittens”? As in like: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY KITTENS.

I’m still sorry about that. It’s not really ever ok… but I still really wanted to start this post with:

HEEEEEEEEEEYYY KITTENNNNS. Let’s chat.

(Are you still reading? OK!)

I had the day off! HOLY CANOLI, RIGHT?! I’m actually sober right now but this is not coming out that way… Yes! The day… it was off. I had it. My only class was canceled so I asked my dear and wonderful boss for a mental day off and he obliged so here I am basking in the glow of my day of freedom. What did I do?

I got my oil changed like mf ADULT.

I sat on the sidewalk reading The Prophet (which you should all do) again and was very pleased with my life until I looked down and saw a pile of TOENAIL CLIPPINGS. NOOOO. Who does that?? Gross.

Got my laundry did.

I splurged for the wash-dry-fold service even though I’m broke and it makes me uncomfortable for strange men to fold my underwear. I don’t even fold my own underwear; it’s just mounded in a big pile in a drawer. But here are these strangers folding them into this perfect little stack. Awkward. You know what’s more awkward? When they’re not ready by the time they tell you to come pick up your laundry and are still busy folding your unmentionables when you arrive and you have to sit there and watch. Yeahhh…

Took pictures of myself.

Just strollin’ by with this veggie burger…

I also ate Thai food and rode my bike to the store (where my loving coworkers ridiculed me)…

Helmets are for winners.

And went shopping (look, don’t buy)…

Don't you miss prom?

If someone had told me prom would be the last damn time I’d ever get to wear a fancy dress, I would have taken it much more seriously. Sixteen-year-olds can’t be trusted with that kind of style pressure. Someone give me a reason to buy this, please. Also these Coach ankle boots…

WANT

I kind of look like I might destroy someone with those on. I like.

Obviously I didn’t buy anything. And if I did it would’ve been this, the Cadillac of trash cans…

Swoon.

But no. I’m too broke for that nonsense. I just felt like a day off warranted at least trying things on. And drooling over $80 trash cans. I haven’t done that in a verrry long time. Twas fun. Did I mention all of this was found at Marshall’s? I do all of my shopping exclusively at Marshall’s and Target and other cheap places like that. Y’all who pay full price for anything have lost your damn minds. Come shop with me some time. I’ll show you the light…

POLL TIME: SO… my sources (both male and female) tell me that until a guy tells you that you’re the only one he’s seeing, you’re not the only one he’s seeing. ALSO… that you can see as many people as you want until you decide there is only one person you want to see. WHAT? What is this, The Bachelorette? I have no idea what’s going on. Discuss.

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Slow Me Down

In Life on September 14, 2011 at 10:09 am

Breakfast!

My mom tells me that one of the things she appreciates about me is that I’m self deprecating in a way that makes me approachable. That I can make fun of myself in an open, honest way that “makes people feel comfortable around a girl who seems to have it all.” Based on the emails and comments I receive, I think this is what you guys appreciate, too. I’m glad to hear my general state of self-aware disarray is entertaining. Thank you; I’ll be here ~~all night~~ forever.

I hope I’m approachable. My entire life I’ve been told that I am “terrifying” and “look like a bitch.” My friends tell me this all the time. Aren’t they sweet?

How could I not make fun of myself? You see the things I do. They are ridiculous. Just look at how many pictures I’ve taken of myself this week. This is perhaps the most self-involved obnoxious thing that bloggers do. And welp, what do you know…

HAHAHA WHY KATIE

If Alicia Silverstone taught me anything in Clueless it’s that you should never trust a mirror to tell you how you look. She took Polaroids of herself in different outfits… I take phone pictures. Don’t judge me. You can’t see what you really look like unless you can see what other people see. And that’s true in life as well as in your cute little skinny jeans. Deep, right?

So that’s why every once in a while you need to step back and observe yourself the way others do. It’ll open your eyes to a whole host of stupid things you’re doing. This can be a little overwhelming but it can also be empowering as it gives you a chance not only to correct it but also to call yourself out before anyone else does. That, my friends, gives you some sense of control even when your life is a chaotic joke.

My head and my heart are colliding, chaotic
Pace of the world, I just wish I could stop it
Try to appear like I’ve got it together…
I’m falling apart

My life has been a chaotic joke as of late and while I like to think I’ve done a pretty standup job of keeping a handle on it, I can see that it’s wearing me thin. (Literally, I’m losing weight.) Actually, I see that other people see that it’s wearing me thin. And this makes me pay attention.

This week I came very close to quitting school and running off to be a yoga teacher/baker/cat herder. Instead, I pulled up my big girl pants and made a MF grownup decision. I’m taking an extra year to finish my masters degree so I can do so mindfully and, you know, without completely losing my mind.

As soon as I made that call, I felt like a giant expensive rock had been lifted off of my body. Nothing will change in my immediate life. This semester will remain as ridiculous as it’s always been. But I can crank through it knowing that come Spring I’ll be skipping through life with a more manageable load.

So no, I don’t have it all. I hope you all realize this. I do, however, have all I need and that, I believe, is far more powerful than a life overflowing with fulfilled wants.

I took the day off today. Mental health day, we’ll call it. I slept for 11 hours, sipped tea with my smoothie bowl and will float through this day knowing I have hit rock bottom, regained my footing and am slowly but surely climbing back up where I belong. Just as ridiculous as I’ve ever been.

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BBQ Tempeh Sandwich

In Events on September 12, 2011 at 11:38 pm

Vegan BBQ tempeh sandwich

Remember last year when I covered the Blues, Brews and BBQ Festival for Uptown Magazine? Remember how I’m a vegetarian? Me too. I went back again this year anyway. (You can read last year’s story on my online portfolio here.) You don’t have to eat meat to enjoy the rowdiness of a BBQ festival, let me tell you. I ate gummi bears soaked in moonshine. Hello. Enough said. (This was pre-Sober September, duh.)

Plus, if you eat your own vegan BBQ tempeh sandwich before you leave, you’ll feel like you participated in the whole barbecue thing without killing anything and will have a good line (that will get you ridiculed) for every time someone tries to offer you some form of animal… “Oh, no thanks. I already ate vegan BBQ, sucka.”

This line might actually get you stabbed at an event like this. In fact, one man even asked me if I’d had my “Yankee vaccines” before he would give me any of his moonshine-soaked gummi bears. Being that I grew up in Chicago but really wanted some moonshine-soaked gummi bears, I said, “Yes, of course. The South will rise again.” and threw those bears back like a jello shot. (PS – They’re amazing.)

NOT a Yankee vaccine

For my vegan BBQ I just sauteed onions, green pepeprs and tempeh with a little BBQ sauce and then stuffed it into a whole wheat pita with lettuce and pickles. Kind of resembled a McRib, which is not a compliment.

My brother accompanied me to the festival again this year and came out guns blazin’ with a damn funnel cake.

Who does that?

I do.

And this kind woman a few tents down offered to share her apple pie moonshine.

Yep.

And I took her up on that offer assuming there was enough alcohol in there to kill me let alone whatever diseases were floating in it.

Don’t be surprised if you see a moonshine gummi bear recipe up here soon…

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Super Cupcake

In School on September 12, 2011 at 11:19 pm

Takeout from Lang Van

Tonight as I was rounding out hour two of seemingly endless lectures about shit I don’t care about, it occurred to me that I am perhaps in the wrong field of study. Don’t get me wrong, nutrition I can handle. Food I love. Gluconeogenesis and glycolysis and…

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS

… no. No thank you.

Rather than feign interest in the metabolism of vitamin A, I was busy doing this:

Obviously.

Yes I would like a gold star, thank you. I think I got Ralph’s fuzz down perfectly, wouldn’t you say? And Weaz’s goatee? Flawless. Clearly I have missed my calling as a comic book artist. Coulda, woulda, shoulda. I can see it now… The Adventures of Super Cupcake, co-starring his bumbling sidekicks Ralph and Weaz. Coming soon to a newsstand near you…

Yes, I’m a little burned out on school. It’s just so… boring. And not what I thought it would be. And, good god, expensive. I’m just having doubts. Cold feet, if you will. I mean, I’ve put three years into this mess and now I kind of feel like it’s not going anywhere, like it’s not what I originally imagined it would be, like I’m kind of wasting my time and like it just.won’t.end. Sound familiar? This appears to be a pattern.

I’m toying with the idea of bailing, but I won’t. Because I just love to torture myself. So in the meantime I’m going to be a big ol’ slacker and never open my books and draw cupcake superheroes in class and stay out (or in?) way too late on a school night eating Vietnamese takeout and watching movies that are not good but are much better than learning about glycolytic pathways.

No, those are not my plates. Very observant.

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Banana Bars w/ PB Buttercream

In Baked Goods on September 11, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Vegan banana oat bar with peanut buttercream

Oh, hello there, best thing I have ever made. Aren’t you a sight for ~~sore~~ hungry eyes?

I’ve been dreaming up this sexy little number for weeks but I just haven’t had the time (or soberness) to throw it together. Today was the day. I could feel it. I woke up at 7am without an alarm, drank tea, did yoga. By 9am I was well on my way to a Sunday morning bakefest and I was thrilled with myself, to say the least.

But then, of course, as is the case every single time a human being wants to bake something, I discovered I had no sugar. That’s not true. I had like two tablespoons of sugar hanging out in a massive bag whose presence in my cabinet, we can only assume, led me to not purchase more sugar prior to this moment. Why didn’t I just use those last two tablespoons of sugar in the last thing I made so I could throw the bag away thus signaling a need for MORE SUGAR? I will never know. All I know is that that’s how I ended up at the grocery store looking like this:

Careful boys, she's siiiiiiingle.

At any rate, I got my sugar. And vanilla, too, since who the hell ever actually has vanilla and sugar stocked when they really need them? No one.

The inspiration for these mind-blowing bars comes from the New York Times vegan banana cookies I’ve been rambling on about and have made at least three times in the last 12 days. (Don’t worry about it.) Rather than spoon the dough out into cookies, I wanted it in bar form so it could be properly slathered in peanut butter buttercream frosting. Peanut buttercream as it shall be known henceforth.

Properly slathered.

Properly Slathered would be a great emo band name, don’t you think? They’d wear glasses with no prescription and smoke unfiltered cigarettes and disagree with everything. Dibs. Don’t steal my idea. That’s a money-maker right there.

What am I even talking about? here’s your recipe, loves.

Banana Oat Bar with Peanut Buttercream

Author: Katie Levans

Prep time: 15 mins

Cook time: 25 mins

Total time: 40 mins

Serves: 16

Adapted from the New York Times vegan banana cookie recipe

Ingredients

1 batch of NYT vegan banana cookies
1/2 cup non-hydrogenated vegan butter, softened
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon non-dairy milk, as needed
1/3 cup creamy peanut butter
3 cups powdered sugar
walnuts, optional (for garnish)

Instructions

Prepare the cookie batter as instructed. Rather than spoon out into cookies, spread it into a parchment paper-lined (or greased) baking dish. Bake for 25 minutes on 350 degrees until golden brown.
Beat the vegan butter and vanilla extract until light and fluffy.
One cup at a time, slowly add the sugar until incorporated.
Add the peanut butter and continue beating. If the mixture looks dry, add non-dairy milk until desired consistency is reached.
When bars have cooled, spread buttercream on top and cut into 16 servings.
Garnish with walnuts.

Best ever.

Curry Tofu Scramble

In Breakfast on September 11, 2011 at 11:24 am

Curry tofu scramble with toast and avocado

I’m an all or nothing kind of girl. I want to practice yoga every single day or I don’t want to practice at all. I want to eat a McDonald’s #2 value meal (no cheese) every day for the better part of my high school career or I don’t want to eat meat for a decade. I want six liquor drinks in the span of about two hours or I’ll be sipping one glass of water all night.

There’s just not a whole lot of gray area with me, you see. I’m in or I’m out.

So since I’ve been such a freaking drunkard this last month I decided it was time to rein it in and declare a Sober September. Not a Glass-of-Wine-with-Bachelor-Pad September or a Drink-Until-You-Eat-an-Entire-Pizza-but-Only-Once-in-a-While-so-It’s-Totally-Fine September. A damn sober September. All the way.

Nothing wrong with drinking, mind you. I’ve just got entirely too much going on to be stumbling around my kitchen at 3am eating an entire tub of kalamata hummus. I’ve been acting like a freaking 19-year-old. No room in the schedule for that nonsense.

I think after crawling out of my hole of post-breakup summer depression, I just wanted to have fun again. And it has been fun. But you know what’s also fun? Not being drunk in your 6:30am yoga class.

So I’m stepping back a wee bit. The best part? I’ve got so much more time for cooking and baking now. Hence, this beautiful Sunday brunch of curry tofu scramble with toast and avocado. Enjoyed headache-free after a lovely non-drunk 90-minute hot yoga class.

That's more like it.

Curry Tofu Scramble

Author: Katie Levans

Prep time: 5 mins

Cook time: 12 mins

Total time: 17 mins

Serves: 3-4

Tofu scrambles are a simple, satisfying meal that work just as well for breakfast and brunch as they do for dinner and drunken late-night snackfests. Your flavor combinations are endless so work with the vegetables and spices you have on hand. The process is the same regardless.

Ingredients

1 tablespoon oil
1 celery stalk, diced
1 carrot, diced
1 tablespoon curry powder
salt and pepper to taste
1/3 cup vegetable broth
1 block firm tofu, water drained
1/2 cup frozen peas
2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar

Instructions

Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat.
Saute the onion until it begins to soften. Add the carrots and celery and continue cooking 3-4 more minutes.
Add the curry powder and season with salt and pepper. Immediately pour in vegetable stock. Let simmer 2-3 minutes.
Add the block of tofu and break it up with a fork or wooden spoon until it resembles scrambled eggs.
Add frozen peas, reduce heat and let simmer until peas are cooked through.
Finish with apple cider vinegar.
Serve with toast and avocado if you are awesome. Or eat it straight out of the skillet over the sink. Nobody’s looking.

Welcome Fall: Stuffed Squash

In Dinner on September 10, 2011 at 8:33 pm

Quinoa, raisins, nuts, rosemary, sage-stuffed squash

Fall is my most favorite time of the year. It’s all brisk air and open windows and apple picking and scarves and boots and the deep-rooted belief that all things are better with cinnamon. It’s the bittersweet beginning of the end of the year and, for all the right reasons, makes me want to hold hands and drink apple cider and fall in love.

My life has been moving at an alarming rate this month so rather than barrel through another night drunk and completely unaware that my favorite season is slipping by, I decided to stay in and celebrate solo with a gorgeous stuffed squash.

Fixins

And wouldn’t you know it, I actually took the time to measure my ingredients so I could share this with my fellow lovers of fall. You’re welcome.

Stuffed Squash

Author: Katie Levans

Prep time: 15 mins

Cook time: 30 mins

Total time: 45 mins

Serves: 2

At once sweet and salty, hearty but light, simple to prepare yet complex in flavor, this perfect little meal will help you welcome fall with open, sweater-wearing arms. It’s vegan, gluten-free and, dare I say it, perfect.

Ingredients

1 acorn squash
2 tablespoons oil, divided
1 small onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 stalks celery, diced
1 tablespoon dried rosemary
1 tablespoon dried thyme
1/4 cup raisins
1/4 cup chopped nuts
1/2 cup vegetable broth
salt and pepper to taste
1 cup prepared quinoa
1 teaspoon maple syrup
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar

Instructions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Carefully cut the squash in half, scoop out seeds, drizzle with one tablespoon of olive oil and bake face down on a baking sheet for 20-25 minutes until soft.
While the squash is baking, heat the other tablespoon of oil in a skillet over medium-high heat.
Added the onion and saute until it begins to soften. Add the celery, garlic, rosemary, thyme and salt and pepper and let cook 3-4 more minutes.
Pour in the vegetable stock, nuts and raisins and let simmer 5 minutes.
Mix in prepared quinoa, remaining vegetable stock, maple syrup and apple cider vinegar.
Spoon half the mixture into each half of the squash and serve warm.

Oh glorious day

Caturday 9/10/11

In Cats on September 10, 2011 at 11:30 am

Tough love with Ralphie: You are a disaster.

Happy cool, crisp Caturday morning! The weather in the south has finally switched from sweltering to bearable and (in the morning, anyway) even chilly at times. Ralphie for one can’t wait to rock her new thigh-high leather boots.

Speaking of, are those only for streetwalkers? I mean, Ralph was before I took her in so it makes sense. But… those thigh-high boots are only for strippers, right? I want some.

THE POINT IS… fall is here!

Hooray!

Which means the windows are open. Which means the cats get to sit in the window. Which means they are preoccupied long enough for me to go spend a million dollars on their expensive ass food.

I gave my left arm for this. And I'm a lefty.

$20 a bag. TWENTY DOLLARS. I don’t even know the last time I spent $20 on one item. (Isn’t that sad? Don’t answer.) But for the cats… anything for the damn cats.

You bet your ass anything.

I didn’t want to buy the cats nice food (don’t judge me!) but my mom told me I was being a bad mom and that I had to give them what they want. They want $20 cat food. In an effort to avoid giving my mom a reason to believe that if I’m a bad cat mom I’ll be a bad mom mom, I buy the food. But I’m not happy about it.

We are.

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Fitness

Standup Paddle Boarding

In Workout on September 9, 2011 at 8:00 pm

Tempeh, cheese, pickles, avocado

There are few things I enjoy more than being on or near a body of water. Not so much in it, no thanks. But close by, yes. I’d love to live on or near water and believe that a city is not a city unless it’s on a coast or has a river running through it. (My biggest complaint about Charlotte so far is its landlockedness. Lame.) I grew up on the lake, in a pool and, when all else failed, dancing in a sprinkler. These days I prefer to admire water from afar without actually getting in it.

This works.

Yesterday I learned that there’s a water activity made just for water-hating people like me: standup paddleboarding. You get to be in the water without (assuming you have the ability to balance, of course) being in the water. It’s a beautiful thing.

I went out with some teammates from work and am officially hooked. Let it be known that this is what I want for Christmas. Sure, there are more practical things I need–like a new trashcan since I just broke mine–but be serious… you can’t paddle a trashcan four miles across a lake. Exactly.

I was very excited about my first time, as evidenced by my jazz hands…

Jaaaaaazz hands

But when we got there and my “Hey, where’s the bathroom?” was greeted with a sweeping gesture at the surrounding bushes, I started to feel like maaaaaybe this was a bit too much nature for Katie on a Thursday morning.

I peed in the woods!

I sucked it up and peed in the woods, walking through spider webs and cursing the world all the while. I emerged victorious and ready to PADDLE, SON.

The boards are surprisingly more stable than I expected and I found it easy to stay upright. I did get a little cocky and attempt some one-footed balancing, which was the closest I came to busting it. The key to paddleboarding, I’ve learned, is to engage your core to paddle forward rather than rely on your arms. It was a million times better than crunches.

You have no idea how long this took.

I loved this morning. It was just the escape I needed from my frantic daily routine and reminded me that, in addition to making food, making everyone in my life happy and making time for myself, I also need to make time to be outside. It’s important to me and I forget that sometimes.

After paddling four miles I came home to inhale my go-to sandwich: tempeh, cheese, avocado and pickles. It was a good, good, busy day.

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Back to the Books

In School on September 8, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Muffins, peanut butter, grapes

Welp. Here I am rounding out my third week back to school and this is only the second time I’ve opened a book. Good work, Katie. I used to be a good student. I swear. In fact, my undergraduate alma mater was recently named the #2 most rigorous university in the country (yes, ahead of the likes of Harvard, Yale, Princeton and whatnot). So I swear that under normal (or even rigorous) levels of pressure, I can do this whole school thing. Life is just winning right now.

Plus, every time I open my textbooks THIS happens…

Ralphie, RD

What we have here is hypchromic microcytic anemia...

Seriously. Every.single.time.

After tearing through two case studies today that I should’ve probably started weeks ago, you know what I never want in my life? (Other than clinical nutrition?) Blood thinners. Those suckers blow. You know what you can’t eat in excess while on blood thinners? Vitamin K. Because it’s a coagulant, which totally counteracts the anticoagulant properties of the blood thinning drugs. You know what vitamin K is in? Just kale, spinach, brussels sprouts, chard… good stuff. Oh, the horror.

Cat-free.

I made those muffins months ago and froze them and they are still good. I’m glad I did that because baking is yet another ball in my life that has crashed to the ground. I can only juggle so many balls, y’all.

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Cupcakes and Kale

In Life on September 7, 2011 at 11:25 pm

Hello, little cupcake.

I’m on a bit of a self improvement kick. Don’t worry, you won’t find me rummaging through self help book racks, wearing big sunglasses to disguise my shame while flipping through Help! I’m Becoming a Cat Lady. Not yet, anyway. I’m just really interested in what’s wrong with me. And what’s right with me, too. But that’s not all. I’m interested in how I work, what makes me happy, what doesn’t, who makes me happy, who doesn’t, where I’m going, what I’m doing right to get there and what I’m doing terribly wrong that’s holding me back.

After feeling like I failed love pretty miserably, I’m just really interested in figuring out what I can actually do right, what I can do better and what I perhaps shouldn’t do at all.

Step one has been opening myself up to opinions and feedback and criticism and compliments. So last night I was up until ungodly hours letting a good friend point out some pretty serious character flaws. It was enlightening, to say the least.

We did a very interesting exercise at work recently where we had to ask five people in our life to answer the following questions about us:

1. What do you most appreciate about me?
2. What do you wish i would appreciate more about myself?
3. What do you see that I should continue doing/being that supports what is authentic in me?
4. Do you notice areas of my life where I experience a loss of power?
5. When am I most inspired?
6. What do you find challenging about me?
7. What is the one thing you wish for me in the next three years?
8. What is the one thing you believe i could master in my lifetime?

I know I’ve already mentioned this, but I’m not sure I mentioned the impact. People’s answers to these questions will rock you right down to your core. Some of what they say will be great and some of it will be terrible. Some of it you’ll totally expect and some of it will come out of left field and smack you in the face.

As I listened to what people had to say about me, I found myself at times shaking my head and thinking, “You don’t know me at all.” But then someone else would say the same thing. And then another person. And that’s when it hit me that I’m not acting in a way that lets people see who I think I am. It’s an interesting conundrum, really.

Another common thread was that people’s favorite thing about me and the thing the find most challenging about me are one in the same. And that’s that I am driven and motivated and will go after anything I want but that I’ll do it at the cost of my sanity, my sleep and my relationships. It’s true.

Maybe I’m scaring people off from doing this exercise, but I hope not because it really is a good thing. It’s not a bad thing to recognize and accept faults in yourself. We’re all human. Nobody’s perfect. You’ve heard it all. It’s actually really empowering to see yourself as others see you. Do it.

So anyway, for me, I suppose, it’s all about balance. I need to find a way to get what I want without sacrificing what (and whom) I love. That’s also what my friend and I kind of figured out in the discussion of my repeated failures in the forever-love department. We determined I want a strong, assertive man who is not a cocky douchebag and who is also sensitive and into yoga and not vehemently opposed to vegetarianism and is also not gay. Good luck with that, Katie. If you have found this man, please send him here.

Balance. Isn’t that always the answer? Ate a cupcake and three banana oat blondies today? Better eat some kale tonight. You know how it goes.

Cupcakes and kale. Yin and yang.

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So Long, Summer

In Life on September 6, 2011 at 10:54 pm

I'll miss you, watermelon.

This summer was pretty monumental for me, to say the least. I ended a three-year relationship, moved to a new city, started a new job and did my best to keep it all together when inside I was falling apart. There were a lot of constants to keep me on track–yoga, cats and family–but the past three months were truly an experiment in change, in stepping outside my comfort zone and in redefining who I am.

3rd Time’s Not a Charm

In What's for Lunch? on September 6, 2011 at 10:12 pm

Vegetables invade the office...

Let me tell you a story about today…

My alarm went off at at 5:48… and 6… and 6:16. The first time I thought, “I’ll get up at the next one.” The second time I thought, “I’ll get up at the next one.” And the third time I thought, “I’ll never get up. I’m dreaming myself into a world where I have enough money to pay for school and I don’t have to work and I have enough time for things like… showers.” Third time is not a charm when it comes to alarm clocks.

I woke up earlier than I wanted to but still a solid two hours later than planned at 8:15. When your day is literally planned down to the hour, this can throw things off a bit. This time I thought simply, “Aw hell.”

If you’re thinking this must be the part where I fly out of bed, jump in the shower, throw on the outfit I laid out the night before and dash out the door with a Poptart in my hand, late but not too late to throw up my hands in defeat… you don’t know me very well. Nope. I realize this is how most people would’ve handled the morning. Me? My thought process went something like this:

“Aw fuck. I wanted to go to yoga… Why does my entire body hurt? Yoga. WEEEEEEAAAZ. Seriously though… my back is bruised. Showering last night would’ve been a good idea. When is the last time I showered…? I want a smoothie. Why haven’t I washed any dishes in two days? Now all you get is PB toast. Serves you right. What the… is my throat sore?? I’ll make some tea and then not drink it. Good plan… I should be 15 minutes down I-77 by now… This outfit I laid out last night is heinous. I’ll try on 15 more. I’ve got plenty of time for this shit… All black. All black is always the answer. I hate pearls. I should wear those too… Dryyyy shampooooooo, what would I do without you? At least I packed my lunch last night. I’ll just work out at the gym… Where are the cats? Adios gatitos!”

[End scene]

I really do say “Adios gatitos!” every time I leave my house. I also have to see both cats with my own eyes before I leave or I’ll get five exits down the interstate and come back to check and make sure I didn’t accidentally lock them in a closet or something. It’s true. Safety first.

So anyway. I finally made it to work just 30 minutes late. Not bad. No one seemed to mind. AND I was greeted with a bountiful harvest from one coworker’s family’s farm.

Cabbage for the rest of your LIFE

Take one look at that picture and guess who didn’t shower this morning. Hint: It wasn’t the cabbage.

The rest of the day was fine. All I wanted in the entire world was to take a long, hot shower. But no. There I was sweating away in my all black outfit.

Though I’d managed to drop every ball in my life by 6 o’clock in the morning, I had at least packed a winning lunch the night before.

So much good

New favorite snack

It’s a common misconception that healthy food has to be complicated and time-consuming to prepare. Au contraire. Just throw a bunch of shit in a bowl. Truly. That lunch is:

Leftover farro salad
Kale
Tempeh
Mixed nuts
Avocado

Doesn’t really make a damn bit of sense but tastes great just the same and requires no skill whatsoever to assemble.

The moral of this story, I suppose, is do the best you can. And eat your vegetables. I’m doing a lot and I can’t do it all perfectly so I’m just doing the very best I can. Sometimes the best I can do is wake up two hours late. I’ll take it.

One thing I think I did right today was remain calm. Yoga taught me that. I was confronted with an undesirable circumstance. I acknowledged its presence. And I moved on with my life. No sense in flipping out. Or making up lies. Or driving fast. Just… (breathe and) move on.

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Enough is Enough

In Life, School on September 4, 2011 at 10:41 pm

Homework shmomework

So I’ve been feeling good. So so good. I feel like I’m finally home. That I have a home, not a house (or an ill-equipped apartment). That I have friends, not acquaintances. That I have a sense of place, not an overwhelming sense of anxiety. I still don’t have money or a car whose oil has been changed recently or a well-hashed life plan or… a boyfriend. BUT… but. I think I’ve finally reached a place where enough is enough. Both in the enough-is-enough-move-on-with-your-life-you-pitiful-fool kind of way and the you-don’t-have-a-lot-but-you-have-enough-and-enough-is-enough kind of way. You follow, right?

I’d describe my current situation as “content” but as soon as I said that my dear and loving yoga teacher immediately swooped in and kicked my ass (as he does) and said “content belongs in a cubicle.” So I guess I’m still working on blissfully happy. I’ll keep you posted on that.

SO… tonight I went to “work” on a presentation on celiac disease I’m putting together with a friend from school for a nurses’ conference we’re crashing in a couple weeks. She went to culinary school and made dinner, of course. I have friends in high places, y’all.

And by “work” I mean we drank wine and watched the Cooking Channel while she called out names of everyone on it like, “Ohhhh that’s so and so and he was in our wedding.” No big deal.

Yesssss

We had farro salad with roasted tomatoes and caramelized onions, hummus and guacamole. And Greek yogurt with raspberries and honey for dessert.

Hello.

Greek yogurt, raspberries, honey

I could get used to this kind of studying.

I’m off to bed because I just whined my way into an early-morning yoga class. Happy Labor Day, you jerks. I’m working/schooling tomorrow. But I love it, remember? Yes.

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How Does She Do It?

In Life on September 4, 2011 at 8:50 am

Sometimes leftovers trump a night out.

Yesterday I had delusions of grandeur about a balls-to-the-wall, rowdy, epic girls night out. By 5pm I’d already called the whole thing off after hitting a brick wall at work and realizing all I wanted in the entire world was to bake cookies, eat leftovers and go to bed by 8pm. No one objected. And this is why girlfriends are the best.

Rule #1: Sometimes leftovers trump a night out.

I knew if I didn’t get some serious Katie time, I’d be plowed into the ground today with another full work day and homework and whatever else I do. Plus, I’d already had an epic night out the night before. How do you think I ended up with the Indian food? Exactly. Oh and, I had to help Ralph and Weaz get their Facebook page set up… duh.

Now, I know there’s already a movie out to this effect starring Sarah Jessica Parker and perhaps you can get all the “How to Barrel Through Life Somewhat Gracefully” tips you need, but since people keep asking, here are a few of the ways I’m getting by this year…

Rule #2: Two Words… Frozen Vegetables

Eat your vegetables

Frozen vegetables have an almost endless shelf life and require little to no prep work making them easier for me to inhale on the fly than fresh produce. I keep frozen spinach, peppers, broccoli, green beans, peas, etc. on hand so I can toss them into soups, stirfrys, on top of pizza or into a smoothie (spinach only) to amp up my vegetable intake for the day even when I don’t have time for elaborate food prep.

Another solution is to wash and cut all your fresh produce the day you buy it so it’s ready to go as soon as you need it. Still, the extended shelf life of frozen produce plus the cheap price tag are appealing to me right now. Not to mention, freezing has been found to maintain the integrity of the nutrients that are lost in fresh produce as it sits in a warehouse then in a delivery truck and then on the shelf.

Rule #3: Dry shampoo. Just do it.

Dry shampoo will change your life

The thing about curly hair is that, other than being awesome, it is also very dry. This means that it can go (and should) several days without shampooing. The answer in the interim, I’ve recently discovered, is dry shampoo. This little $2 can has left me looking polished and put together on countless occasions when I’m really unshowered.

Rule #4: Your home is your castle.

Clutter free

I learned this from my mom who was constantly getting onto us about picking up our toys or shoes or backpacks and especially about doing so before my dad got home from work. Nobody wants to come home to a messy house. I make it a point to clean the whole thing every Friday afternoon while the rest of the world is getting drunk. And I keep it decluttered daily since clutter gives me anxiety. I find that taking time to get this in order makes me a happier, saner person throughout the week.

Rule #5: Do yoga. All the time. Anywhere.

Works anywhere. No mat required.

The other day I was rushing from somewhere to somewhere else to somewhere else and trying to do my laundry at my brother’s house in between each step. I knew I’d never make it to the studio that day so I just plopped myself in the middle of his living room and did a quick 15-minute series myself. It wasn’t ideal but it was better than nothing.

Rule #6: Dress like a MF adult.

Brief cases help

You are a grown ass woman and if you expect to be treated as such you had better play the part. I have an awesome professor who is laidback and cool and totally an ex-hippie who would like to dress as such, but she says doctors don’t take her seriously (she’s an RD) so she wears what she calls her “costumes.” I love that. You can dress yourself into a new role. I’m using clothes this year to make it look like I’ve got it together. It seems to be working since people keep asking, “How do you do it? You seem so together.” Hint: I’m not. You’re just blinded by the pencil skirt.

So that’s that. The name of my game right now is just: do the best you can. I have a lot going on so not everything will be perfect. That’s ok. If I can get creative to get by, I’ll be just fine.

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Caturday 9/3/11

In Cats on September 3, 2011 at 11:29 am

You forgot to do Caturday.

I didn’t really forget to do Caturday. I just didn’t do Caturday first thing in the morning. That’s because I was too busy forcing 90 minutes of hot yoga upon my body even though (let’s be honest here) my body was probably still a little bit drunk. Who am I?

Excuse me no one cares.

Of course no one cares about how I’m hungover aaaaagain on Caturday morning. This is cat time.

Did you know there is such thing as a cat superhero? (Other than Cat Woman duhhhh.)

Danananadanananadanana CATMAN

It’s true. Someone asked me last night who my favorite superhero is so naturally I googled “cat superhero.” According to Wikipedia, he is a supervillain and foe of Batman. See also: Ralphie. And just so people will stop telling me I’m a crazy cat lady, in my hunt for cat superheroes I came across this lunatic who has turned himself into a tiger. “Avner’s body modification operations have included bifurcation (splitting) of his upper lip, surgical pointing of the ears, sillicone cheek and forehead implants, tooth filing, tattoos, and facial piercing – to which whiskers can be attached.” Mmmmmhm.

Now who's crazy?

Ralph has super powers too, you know.

Faster than a speeding... cat.

Weaz… can’t do anything. I suppose if she had a super power it would be… nope. I got nothin.

I do this.

I’m off to google “cat + ______” and see what I can find…

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FAQ

In Life on September 2, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Doooo you have a question for me and my yogurt?

Last night I ate dinner at midnight. If you were to ask me what I was doing between the normal American dining hours of, say, 7 to 9pm, I would say, “Don’t worry about it.” While I won’t always have a good answer (that I’ll share), I have been fielding an awful lot of questions lately. Either I have become significantly more interesting in the last two weeks or my life is such a confusing mess of a joke that people really can’t keep up with. Let’s sort this out…

Wait… where do you work?

Do you want to know where I work or how often? Because both are kind of complicated. I have a full-time job in retail, part-time Graduate Associateship, full-time graduate class load (which is work, yes) and a volunteer gig. When it’s all said and done, I’m “on” in one of these four places seven days a week. Usually at least two per day. All told, it’s about 70 hours of “work” a week. Sometimes I sleep.

But… when do you sleep?

I tend to sleep between the hours of midnight and 6am.

If you’re working this much… shouldn’t you be making more money?

You bet your ass I should be.

Where are the cats when you’re doing all of these things?

Ripping out clumps of their hair and spreading it all over my house. Sleeping, too.

What are you studying again? Cats?

No. Not cats. I’m working on my Masters in Human Nutrition. It’s kind of complicated. I’m also taking a whole lot of undergraduate classes to complete a Didactic Program in Dietetics to become a Registered Dietitian. Pretty much… I’m cramming six years of schooling into about four. And yes, I already have a B.A. in Spanish Language and Lit. It’s a party, let me tell you. (So you want to be an RD? Read this.)

Don’t you speak Spanish? You couldn’t find someone to pay you to do that?

No, I could not. Gracias. Also, viva la Weaz.

Do you do things other than all these other things that consume your life?

Yes I do. I still do yoga and eat frequently and go out and get inappropriately drunk at times.

Are you seeing someone?

I see lots of people every day. You’ll have to be more specific like: Are you seeing one person more frequently than other people?

I still eat, yes.

Even breakfast.

Lots of people also seem to want to know what I’m eating and when and how and all that. I am still eating. I’m not cooking as many awesome things as I’d like. And I don’t have time to bake. But I make it a point to continue eating in a way that makes me feel good physically and mentally. I’ll dedicate a full post to this later. I’ll work on it in my free time.

Got more questions?

I need some fodder for my videos. And since I know my readers are total creepers (y’all know you are silent lurkers; be serious), I’m doing this anonymous question thing. The second it gets remotely creepy and/or mean it will cease. But for now… Ask me anything.

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Fitness

National Yoga Month

In Yoga on September 1, 2011 at 8:38 am

September = yoga time.

Day 203 – “To put the world right in order we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.” – Confucius

In case you missed it, yoga has completely changed my life. It has made me stronger and gentler and kinder and fiercer and calmer and energized and grounded and uplifted and present and, yes… thinner. It gives me a sense of place and connects me with amazing people. It is the best thing I do every day. (Well, almost every day.)

September is National Yoga Month and I encourage you to explore the practice. Whether you’ve never tried or are a veteran, there’s always something more for you to learn.

In honor of National Yoga Month, my friends and I are competing Baron Baptiste’s 40 Days to Personal Revolution. The program includes a daily yoga practice, meditation and more. I can’t wait.

Never done yoga? Explore my yoga archive and some of my favorite posts below…

Yoga for the Rest of Us – it’s not all rainbows and kittens

5 Reasons to do Yoga – there are so many more…

Non Attachment – how yoga detached me from material things

The Immensity of Yourself – a quote I carry around with me

Find Comfort Here – one of many times I’ve cried on the mat

Meditations from the Mat – an incredible book

Yoga with Cats – duh

Yoga with Ralph – a series for beginners at home

Through Every Open Door – push yourself

Still Life – I cried again

Midweek Meditations – some great thoughts about yoga

See you on your mat…