Remember last year when I covered the Blues, Brews and BBQ Festival for Uptown Magazine? Remember how I’m a vegetarian? Me too. I went back again this year anyway. (You can read last year’s story on my online portfolio here.) You don’t have to eat meat to enjoy the rowdiness of a BBQ festival, let me tell you. I ate gummi bears soaked in moonshine. Hello. Enough said. (This was pre-Sober September, duh.)
Plus, if you eat your own vegan BBQ tempeh sandwich before you leave, you’ll feel like you participated in the whole barbecue thing without killing anything and will have a good line (that will get you ridiculed) for every time someone tries to offer you some form of animal… “Oh, no thanks. I already ate vegan BBQ, sucka.”
This line might actually get you stabbed at an event like this. In fact, one man even asked me if I’d had my “Yankee vaccines” before he would give me any of his moonshine-soaked gummi bears. Being that I grew up in Chicago but really wanted some moonshine-soaked gummi bears, I said, “Yes, of course. The South will rise again.” and threw those bears back like a jello shot. (PS – They’re amazing.)
For my vegan BBQ I just sauteed onions, green pepeprs and tempeh with a little BBQ sauce and then stuffed it into a whole wheat pita with lettuce and pickles. Kind of resembled a McRib, which is not a compliment.
My brother accompanied me to the festival again this year and came out guns blazin’ with a damn funnel cake.
And this kind woman a few tents down offered to share her apple pie moonshine.
And I took her up on that offer assuming there was enough alcohol in there to kill me let alone whatever diseases were floating in it.
Don’t be surprised if you see a moonshine gummi bear recipe up here soon…