Caturday 10/29/11

Happy Catoween!

I love Halloween. It’s my absolute most favorite holiday. Unfortunately, I haven’t really had time this year to do any of the delightful Halloweeny things I love so much–like carve pumpkins, make pumpkin seeds, decorate the house, go to haunted houses/mazes, pick apples (more importantly: eat apple donuts) and make a costume.

Two years ago, I went as both Ralph and Weaz, and I made the costumes myself.

I'm a Ralph, duh.

In fact, if you Google image search “homemade cat costume,” Weaz and I are on the first page of results. I consider this one of my greatest accomplishments in life.

Speaking of Weaz and Halloween… How’s this for CREEPY AND WEIRD:

The other night I was minding my own business, you know, sleeping when all of the sudden I was jolted awake by a hissing, howling, writhing Weaz at the foot of my bed. When Ralph came to investigate (clearly concerned about the commotion), Weaz tried to attack her. I’d watched the first 30 minutes of Paranormal Activity the night before (against my will, of course) and was perfectly terrified to be pulled from my slumber in such a manner. Several things were wrong with this situation: 1) Weaz has never made those sounds before, 2) Weaz has never woken me up like that before, 3) Weaz can’t take Ralph and she knows this, 4) Weaz was possessed by a demon.

My thought process was far from rational and went something like this:

  1. Ohmygod, Weaz has rabies.
  2. Where is the emergency vet in Charlotte?
  3. How did Weaz get rabies?
  4. WAIT. I bet she saw a ghost standing over my bed…
  6. I am going to die tonight.
  7. Maybe she just had a nightmare…
  8. Maybe I am having a nightmare.
  10. I need a gun.
  11. Cheese. Weaz just needs some cheese.
  12. Weaz loves cheese so much.

The cheese did the trick. It’s her favorite thing in the whole world so she started purring uncontrollably and calmed down quickly. She eventually went back to bed but not before staring at the ceiling for several minutes and following something I could not see from over my bedroom door to directly over my bed several times. WHAT THE HELL, WEAZ?

It did not help that I had discovered the Ecto-1 parked in front of my house earlier that night…

Who ya gonna call?

Clearly there is something my landlord’s not telling me if the Ghostbusters are making house calls to the complex.

Anyway, Demonweaz is just fine and has no recollection of her outburst. I’m scheduling her an exorcism for tomorrow.

Don't be fooled by this look of innocence.

Ralph suggests we just get rid of her.

I no longer feel safe in this house.

Anyway, happy freaking Catoween. Now I’ll never get to sleep. And I already took a 6-hour nap tonight… So here’s a happy little video of a demon-free Weaz drinking water vodka.

Public Service Announcement for Cat Owners

Seriously though… Keep your cats inside this Halloween weekend and every Halloween. My mom has always told me this, that heartless, cruel, disgusting little hoodlums like to torture, mutilate and otherwise abuse wandering cats (especially black cats) on Halloween night for no reason other than that they are disgusting human beings who will surely rot in hell. I’ve read horror stories about cats coming home bloody, beaten, limbless and (this really happened) having had explosives shoved in their butts and set off. I hate people. I’m a pretty peaceful person, but there is no limit to the crazy I’d unleash on someone I saw abusing a cat. None.

8 thoughts on “Caturday 10/29/11

  1. Apple donuts at sky top in flat rock are my sole reason for enjoying the fall!! You must must go. Im also glad ralphies hair grew back, she’s beautiful. :-)

  2. I think cats just like to mix things up. Some nights mine sleeps with me, others he does his own thing. He decided to get chatty at 4:50 this morning for no particular reason and he crawled into my lap for a nap about an hour ago (almost never happens). Likes to keep me guessing.
    Seeing the way some people treat animals makes me not think highly of the human race. Every black cat I’ve encountered (I volunteer at a shelter and my kitty is also black) is a complete sweetheart. Anyway, happy catoween!

  3. Sometimes my parents’ cat will randomly do this weird howl/meow thing in the middle of the night, and when I go to see what’s going on, she’s just staring at the ceiling. I can never see anything there, but she gets totally fixated on a specific spot. Sooo creepy.

    I felt my blood pressure skyrocketing just reading that public service announcement. I am in total agreement with you. I think people who abuse animals are the most disgusting, awful kind of human beings. Totally worthless and evil.

  4. I’ve seen the Ghostbusters car around town, too. At Brixx on East Blvd, actually. Weirdness.

    Babies (of the human variety) often stare at things on the ceiling, etc – and it freaks me the hell out. I can’t imagine waking up in the middle of the night, and having someone pull that on me. *shudder*.

    My Vet sent out an email to all of their patients telling us about the dangers of leaving cats (and dogs for that matter) outside on Halloween. I can honestly say it would have never occurred to me that little jerk-faces would do horrible things to kitties, just because. :(

    Stay safe Ralph and Weaz!


  5. My furry overlord randomly stares at the ceiling or into the corner (straight up Blair Witch), and then runs around like his butt is on fire. Sooooo, yeah.

    And I get similar emails to your PSA from our local animal shelter. I told my husband last week that I’d probably gut someone if I saw them torturing a cat/dog/animal (nevermind if it was MY cat!).

  6. I was just cracking up reading this… but the warning part made me feel sick. Some people are so messed up.
    Love your caturday posts katie!

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