Vegan salted caramel blondies
Yesterday I learned to use iTunes. It was a momentous occasion just 11 years behind schedule. I never claimed to be cool, guys.
It’s not that I don’t like music. (So go ahead and put that music-is-my-oxygen lecture back in the pocket of your skinny jeans and just calm F down; you’re fogging up your fake hipster glasses with your hyperventilating.) I just don’t like change. So, as I’ve stated before, back when iPods came to replace CDs, I said, “No, thank you.” Plus, I was on a PC up until two years ago and I was using Windows Media Player. Don’t judge me. And I like to think I do my part to support the music industry by dating musicians. You’re welcome.
I’m proud to report that my beloved CDs and I have fought the good fight for the last decade, but after about a year of a broken CD player in my car and having to endure the likes of “Hey Soul Sister,” anything by Nickelback and autotuning so aggressive and overpowering that I’m not entirely sure a human ever sang the song in the first place, I simply cannot take it anymore.
So I made a playlist.
Exactly.
I still don’t know how to actually buy music (how do I do this?) so all I have is my brother’s library (99% Jay Z and a little bluegrass) and my ex’s library (100% Prince). But I did learn a little secret for getting songs that I am absolutely certain is illegal so I’m not even going to say I’m doing it because I picture a team of bazooka-wielding music piracy cops smashing through my windows to arrest me. “But I didn’t know it was illegal!” … “Yes you did. We read your blog. Perhaps now you’ll stop oversharing like your mom asked you to do years ago. By the way, we know you’ve been stealing internet for the last six months… And can we take a picture with Weasel?”
Anyway… I’ve been keeping a running list of songs I like in anticipation of this day.
Yep
I have listened to my playlist one thousand times and am very pleased with myself.
So pleased, in fact, that I remade the infamous “I Hope You Die” blondies just to get the recipe right this time and celebrate my accomplishment.
| I Hope You Die Blondies (Salted Caramel Blondies) |
- 1/3 cup + 1 tablespoon canola oil
- 1 cup brown sugar, packed
- 1 tablespoon ground flax seed + 3 tablespoons warm water
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1/4 teaspoon salt (plus more for dusting)
- 1 cup whole wheat flour
- 1/2 cup walnut pieces
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees
- Combine oil,sugar, flax “egg” and vanilla
- Add salt, flour and walnuts, and mix to combine
- Line an 8×8 baking dish with parchment paper (or grease) and spoon in batter. It doesn’t spread easily so cover with plastic wrap to press it out flat with your hands. (Remove plastic before baking, duh.)
- Sprinkle dough with extra salt (this is the best part)
- Bake for 30 minutes until cooked through
- Allow to cool completely before cutting with a sharp knife
So damn good.
Am I really as bitter as the story behind these sweet blondies makes me sound? God I hope not.
I don't really hope you die.
I freaking love your posts!!
And those blondies…I’m drooling. Do want
they are like magic, girl. magic.
I enjoyed your hipster description. Reminded me of what I think every time I visit friends in Brooklyn.
Those blondies sound fantastic (love the simple ingredients) and I think the title is perfect.
brooklyn is out of control with its hipsters. out.of.control. i’ve never seen anything like it. all those hipsters in their native habitat…
HAH! Laughed out loud at the hipster fake glasses comment.
And UGH to Nickelback (which is also Creed and Daughtry and Fuel and Yellowcard and Puddle of Mud and Lifehouse in my book).
uh oh. i like lifehouse. i am ashamed.
Knew that one was a bit of a risk…don’t hate me.
Delurking to see if there’s any chance you’ll share your playlist…like what I can make out from the first three songs!
you bet i will.
BTW, You can buy an adapter for your car where you can listen to your iPod through your radio!
oh girl. i’ve got one. i just don’t use it. i don’t even know where my ipod is… there is no hope for me.
Ask for an iPod for Christmas…you need somewhere to put all the iTunes music you’re getting!
HIPSTERS. Seriously. Calm the F down.
Also, do you think coconut oil could be substituted for canola in the blondies recipe? It’s so solid at room temp that I’m nervous about baking with it, but I’m tempted to give it a shot…
Hmmm, I certainly don’t see why not. I’d melt it to liquid form before working it in though…
What? You mean NOT try to stir it into the batter in giant chunk form?? There goes my triceps workout…
I’m making these tonight, I’ll let you know how they turn out!
OK these are awesome! I also fed them to my husband without telling him they were vegan…and he couldn’t tell
wahaha….