I Hate Breakfast (Kinda)

My current favorite breakfast

Let me clarify: I hate (most) breakfast foods. Breakfast itself–the act of breaking the fast–I love/need/crave/etc.

When people invite me to breakfast (I say this like I get lots of breakfast invites; I do not), I try to convince them to push it back to the brunching hour so I can be assured the restaurant will be serving the lunch menu by the time we arrive.

Can you blame me? I mean, consider the cast of breakfast characters…

  • Cereal. What a fucking joke cereal is. Never fills me up. In fact, it makes me hungrier. Just talking about cereal makes me want to eat my arm off.
  • Doughnuts. Are you kidding me? Who decided this was a breakfast food? It’s deep-fried sugar dough. And regarding satiety… see also: cereal.
  • Pancakes/Waffles/French Toast/Etc. Absolutely the last thing I want in my body first thing in the morning. Not true. I can think of other inappropriate things. But still.
  • Oatmeal. No. Just no. I’ve decided I do not like anything about oatmeal. I like oats a whole lot, but I do not like traditional hot oatmeal. At all.

Despite hating breakfast foods, I’m not the kind of person who can run on coffee alone. Speaking of… what is wrong with you people? Do you not wake up every day feeling as if you ran three days ago and haven’t eaten anything since? I certainly do.

So what do I like for breakfast? My morning meal must fit the following criteria:

  • At least 500-600 calories. When fueling my body, I usually figure 100 calories per hour between meals. So if I eat breakfast at 7am and won’t eat lunch until 1pm, I want a good 600 calories to carry me there. I want to smack people who eat 100-calorie bars for breakfast. I’m sorry.
  • Plenty of protein. For obvious reasons of filling me up and sticking with me until lunch.
  • Fat. Again, for satiety. Also taste.
  • Produce. I insist on some combination of fruits and/or vegetables. They can be dried, fresh, frozen, whatever. They just need to be in there.
So this means I eat things like green smoothies, tofu scrambles, toast with nut butter and fresh fruit and my current most favorite breakfast in all the world:

This yogurt oat bowl thing.

I’ve been eating this consistently for the last week or so and I just love it. It is:
  • 1/3 c oats
  • 1/2 c Greek yogurt (unflavored, no sugar)
  • 1/2 c milk (I used unsweetened almond)
  • 1 teaspoon ground flax seeds
  • 1/4 c dried fruit
  • 1 tablespoon peanut butter
  • drizzle of honey
  • sprinkle of coconut
  • cinnamon
I mix it all together and let it sit for about 15 minutes before eating. You can also do it overnight to save time in the morning. So good. So so good. And it keeps me full forever. I usually hate (hate hate hate) yogurt, but if I mix enough stuff into it and change the consistency, apparently I can tolerate love it.
I’m off to shoot a segment for A Healthier Charlotte on how to throw together breakfasts on the run. Appropriately enough, I’m on the run now…

9 thoughts on “I Hate Breakfast (Kinda)

  1. I think I’m slightly the opposite: I hate breakfast but I love breakfast foods. I usually have zilch-o appetite in the mornings (I do make myself eat something, but it’s my smallest meal of the day), BUT offer me pancakes or waffles at dinnertime, or scrambled eggs at lunch, and I am all over it. Perhaps because I have a huge sweet tooth and a lot of breakfast items are, like you pointed out, pretty sugary. It’s interesting how breakfast seems to be the meal that is the most widely variable between people, from the “just skip it” people to the ones that like a big sit-down every morning.

  2. haha I love this whole post! I used to survive on just coffee for breakfast, but just can’t do it anymore. During the summer, I’m good with just a smoothie for breakfast because it’s warmer. For the past few months, though, I’ve tried sneaking green smoothies in, but I always just come back to oatmeal. I confess, oatmeal is one of my favourite breakfast foods. I think it helps that I put peanut butter in it for staying power, then adding cocoa…it’s like dessert for breakfast :D obvs there are more ingredients, too. My breakfast has to have staying power for sure.

    I’m with you on the cereal. Even as a kid, I used to eat two massive bowls of it for breakfast just to tide me over for a few hours. Sucks, cuz I do like it but it frustrates me haha.

  3. I’m also not a huge fan of traditional breakfast foods, so smoothies are generally my go-to meal. I went through an oatmeal phase a couple of years ago and ate it every.single.day. Most days, the thought of hot oatmeal makes me nauseous. I did the same thing with tofu veggie stir-fry, but thankfully, we’re back on good terms. It took me a couple of years though.

  4. I used to loathe breakfast, at least until I was in college. The thought of eating anything in the morning, ANYTHING, made me gag. Then I randomly thought I’d try eating breakfast, got used to it, and now I don’t know how I ever went without it. Like you, I wake up ready to eat anything that’s within grabbing distance.

  5. Agree- I hate “typical” breakfast foods. I would prefer brussels sprouts for breakfast vs a doughnut any day. Oats are always my go to breakfast food, I add eggs white for added protein. Keeps me full for hours!

  6. Thanks for the post about breakfast! It couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time for me; I eat breakfast super early, at about 4:30 am and don’t get a chance to eat until almost 12:30. Thanks for the idea on a big breakfast that will last!

  7. I am glad to hear I am not the only one who is not into hot oatmeal! Every other blog I read is alllll about these huge bowl of oatmeal with just an obscene amount of STUFF piled on top and I’m like I just don’t get it? Lately I’ve been eating plain greek yogurt with fruit, granola, and honey or one of my most favorite things for breakfast: bean burritos!

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