Tofu Salad Sandwich

I can’t be the only one who finds tuna salad to be highly offensive. It’s right up there with egg salad. BLEH.

Think about it. It smells weird. It looks weird. The main ingredient is mayonnaise. Sometimes there are bones in there. Shudder.

Nobody likes the cubicle mate that brings a damn tuna salad into the office. On the list of Worst Foods to Eat in an Office, tuna salad is second only to a microwaved sack of cat turds. What a jerk you are for doing that.

One time I sat down on a cross-country flight to LA… in the last row… that doesn’t recline… always… and the toilets were smelling like, you know, toilets. I thought this was the worst it could get until an overly affectionate couple sat down next to me with matching tuna salad sandwiches and (AND) MF cool ranch Doritos. Who does that? Then they had the audacity to sit there and complain about the toilet smell.

I was all: Whatever, tunafaces. If there’s anything worse than a person with a tuna salad sandwich it’s two people with tuna salad sandwiches making out with each other. The horror.

So the moral of this story is I hate tuna salad and so I made this tofu salad.

I have an aversion to creamy white foods–yogurt, milk, ranch, etc.–so mayonnaise (and vegannaise) are a no go. Instead, I used mashed avocado as the binder. Baked tofu replaces the tuna, and walnuts and celery add a little crunch.

Most other people on the planet have an aversion to tofu so let me help you. I find the best tofu texture comes from thinly slicing, seasoning, and then baking it for a long time.

I guess I don’t really know what chicken tastes like anymore, but to my completely delusional vegetarian taste buds it tastes like chicken when prepared like this. (I’m told this is false.)

3.5 from 2 reviews

Tofu Salad Sandwich
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 

Serves: 6

Tuna salad is gross. Eat this instead.
  • 1 block of extra firm organic tofu
  • olive oil spray
  • poultry seasoning
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 2 ripe avocados
  • juice of 1 lemon
  • ⅓ cup chopped walnuts
  • 1 stalk of celery, thinly sliced

  1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  2. Slice the tofu block into pieces about ¼-inch thick
  3. Arrange tofu slices on a paper towel and press out the excess water
  4. Spray a baking sheet and arrange tofu
  5. Spritz the tofu with olive oil and season with salt, pepper and poultry seasoning
  6. Bake at 400 degrees for 15 minutes on each side (30 minutes total)
  7. Meanwhile, mash avocados and lemon juice in a large bowl
  8. Stir in walnuts and celery, and season with more salt and pepper to taste
  9. When tofu is done baking, dice it into cubes and add it to the avocado mixture

The avocado-walnut combination is one of my favorite food pairings. It makes me feel all healthy-fat and happy. This is a high-protein, healthy-fat, creamy, crunchy, satisfying sandwich filling or salad topper that will not offend your office mates or the lone traveler flying to LA for all the wrong reasons.

You’re welcome.

PS – Thanks for the outpouring of support following my triumphant return to life online. I’m gonna need a Facebook intervention very soon.

22 thoughts on “Tofu Salad Sandwich

  1. this post is one of the many reasons why i’m so very happy you’re back in my google reader. it made me laugh on this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad & extremely cold ohio morning. yay!

  2. So happy you’re back! AND I just moved to Charlotte so I actually get to use your restaurant/yoga studio recommendations!

    This looks amazing!! I definitely need to try it. I really love the curry fake-chicken salad you can get at whole foods/earth fair (that I’m sure is not very healthy..but so delicious) .. it’d be fun to try and make something similar based on this recipe. Thanks!

  3. This looks so good, must try! And the only tuna I will eat is the fresh sushi grade! I worked with a girl who would eat tuna sandwiches then rinse her mouth out with dish soap. Double gag! I was like, how about just don’t eat it? :)

  4. Avocado!!! Yum! I just started following you and love your healthy, vegan, easy to make recipes! I can’t wait to try this one. :)

  5. First, I’m so glad you’re back! And second, I had a physical reaction to your description of that couple with their tuna salad sandwiches and doritos PDA-ing on the plane. Sounds like hell.
    Your tofu salad, on the other hand, sounds awesome! I’m one of those people who loves raw tofu, so I bet I’d also enjoy it that way too.

  6. those tunafaces make me all queasy thinkin about it. for a long time i posted a NO FISH IN THE MICROWAVE sign at work but someone trashed it (probably the office fish eaters) It is Just. Not. Right! eat your canned fish at home people. gaggggg

    I found I have a soy/egg/wheat/tomato/peanut allergy so no more tofu for me. my doc said maybe in it’s original edamame form after a year of soy free. which is dang hard. that soy lecithin sh*t is in EVERYTHING! I’m down with the mashed avocado and walnuts on some gluten free toast though. (yeah its almost impossible to find GF, egg free bread too.)

  7. Tuna salad can suck it but this stuff looks amazing and I don’t even know if I like tofu.

    PS any tempeh recipes coming up? Because I just bought a bunch but I’m not sure what to do with it.

  8. I just made this for lunches this week and am completely blown away – SO YUMMY! Do you know how long it will keep in the fridge before the avocado turns brown? A few days? I guess the lemon should help with that but probably not for too long.

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