Vegan Peanut Butter Blondies

It’s been brought to my attention that the world has not been properly introduced to my new boyfriend (who I do not regret to inform you is not Sean Lowe).

I’ve been artfully dodging the question in interviews and on Facebook because it’s a bit of a delicate situation considering we work together. But without further adieu…

Meet Wedgie.

Wedgie is my roomate’s dog. She adopted him just before I went missing from the Internet for four months so he hasn’t gotten nearly as much face time as he should. We’re in contractual negotiations now for a “Wedgie Wednesdays” installment on the blog. He’s very demanding. Stay tuned.

Until then, by “work together” I mean that I work from home and he sleeps on the couch all day. It’s a good dynamic.

The best thing about Wedgie is that he looks like a lobster. We’re not quite sure what he is, but based on his physical appearance our best educated guess is that he’s a potbelly pig-cow-lobster mutt. Actually, he’s a pitbull-bassett, and if you think that’s the weirdest possible dog combination of all time I’d like to introduce you to this bassett-Newfoundland I met at the bar over the weekend:

Bassett hounds are slutty apparently.

Anyway. The worst thing about Wedgie (other than his atomic farts) is that he loves peanut butter.

As most good dog owners do, my roommate has this Kong that she fills with peanut butter to keep him occupied while she’s at work. The problem with this, of course, is that when she’s at work I’m at home, and when I’m at home I have to listen to him manhandle the Kong.

When I tell you that the sounds that come out of that dog’s mouth when he’s going at that peanut butter are X-rated, I mean that they make me really, really uncomfortable and I wish I could bleep them out. It’s probably the worst sound I’ve ever heard.

In honor of Wedgie’s inappropriate love of peanut butter, I made these vegan peanut butter blondies because they are a less offensive way to deliver peanut butter straight to the face than by sucking it out of a rubber tube. Cringe.

Vegan Peanut Butter Blondies
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Ingredients
  • ¾ cup peanut butter
  • ⅓ cup oil
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • ¼ cup nondairy milk
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1 cup flour
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • ½ teaspoon baking powder

Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  2. Line an 8×8 baking dish with parchment paper or coat with non-strick spray
  3. Mix together wet ingredients (peanut butter through vanilla extract)
  4. In a separate bowl whisk together dry ingredients
  5. Pour dry ingredients into wet and stir to combine
  6. Spread dough into pan and bake for 22 to 25 minutes
  7. Let cool completely before cutting

This recipe is fool-proof, and I highly recommend buying Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar. I do not highly recommend adopting a lobster dog that loves peanut butter. (That’s not true. I love Wedgie.)

You might also like:

Almond Butter Blondies

Fluffernutter Blondies

Vegan Peanut Butter Carob Bars

Banana Oat Bars with Peanut Butter Buttercream

The Best Vegan Brownies Ever

26 thoughts on “Vegan Peanut Butter Blondies

  1. Dude, those PB blondies look amazing and all…but let’s get to the real issue brought up by this post: WHEN ARE WE GOING TO SEE PICTURES OF INTERSPECIES SNUGGLING WITH WEAZ AND WEDGIE?!

  2. sooo – I just started a new job and am working to make deadline (that’s my excuse) what is nondairy milk – is that like coconut milk or almond milk?

  3. Katie,
    I just read about you walking off the Bachelor, way to go! Renews my faith is your generation that you followed your heart despite the loss of notoriety or future financial gain or whatever. “To thine own self be true!” Well done.

  4. Ahhhhh…girl, you’re killing me! After I read the first two sentences (which were all I could see at first), I thought that I had an inkling as to whom this new boyfriend might be & got SO excited!!! You are such a tease.

    That said, Wedgie IS adorable!

  5. Ha! Hilariously accurate description of the Kong background noises when PB is involved. I, too, experience this with my two big dogs, who are also in love with PB. So much in love with it that we can’t use the words “peanut butter”, “PB”, or anything that sounds like “PB” without causing a reaction and the tilted head/begging face. Have you tried making him homemade PB treats yet?

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  7. i made those blondies 2 days ago and they are seriously almost gone. AMAZING. i used justin’s maple almond butter instead of pb and they are seriously unbelievable.

  8. just thought you should know i made these the other evening and my dog ate them ALL off the counter when i went to bed. she hasn’t done that in a while, so the must have been delicious. im trading her in for a cat tomorrow

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