It’s been brought to my attention that the world has not been properly introduced to my new boyfriend (who I do not regret to inform you is not Sean Lowe).
I’ve been artfully dodging the question in interviews and on Facebook because it’s a bit of a delicate situation considering we work together. But without further adieu…
Wedgie is my roomate’s dog. She adopted him just before I went missing from the Internet for four months so he hasn’t gotten nearly as much face time as he should. We’re in contractual negotiations now for a “Wedgie Wednesdays” installment on the blog. He’s very demanding. Stay tuned.
Until then, by “work together” I mean that I work from home and he sleeps on the couch all day. It’s a good dynamic.
The best thing about Wedgie is that he looks like a lobster. We’re not quite sure what he is, but based on his physical appearance our best educated guess is that he’s a potbelly pig-cow-lobster mutt. Actually, he’s a pitbull-bassett, and if you think that’s the weirdest possible dog combination of all time I’d like to introduce you to this bassett-Newfoundland I met at the bar over the weekend:
Anyway. The worst thing about Wedgie (other than his atomic farts) is that he loves peanut butter.
As most good dog owners do, my roommate has this Kong that she fills with peanut butter to keep him occupied while she’s at work. The problem with this, of course, is that when she’s at work I’m at home, and when I’m at home I have to listen to him manhandle the Kong.
When I tell you that the sounds that come out of that dog’s mouth when he’s going at that peanut butter are X-rated, I mean that they make me really, really uncomfortable and I wish I could bleep them out. It’s probably the worst sound I’ve ever heard.
In honor of Wedgie’s inappropriate love of peanut butter, I made these vegan peanut butter blondies because they are a less offensive way to deliver peanut butter straight to the face than by sucking it out of a rubber tube. Cringe.
- ¾ cup peanut butter
- ⅓ cup oil
- 1 cup brown sugar
- ¼ cup nondairy milk
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 1 cup flour
- ½ teaspoon salt
- ½ teaspoon baking powder
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees
- Line an 8×8 baking dish with parchment paper or coat with non-strick spray
- Mix together wet ingredients (peanut butter through vanilla extract)
- In a separate bowl whisk together dry ingredients
- Pour dry ingredients into wet and stir to combine
- Spread dough into pan and bake for 22 to 25 minutes
- Let cool completely before cutting
This recipe is fool-proof, and I highly recommend buying Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar. I do not highly recommend adopting a lobster dog that loves peanut butter. (That’s not true. I love Wedgie.)
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