When people tell me they hate Brussels sprouts all I can think is, “Oh, you poor sheltered thing.” much the same way I would react to someone telling me they’ve never been out of the country or seen Schindler’s List or witnessed a cat giving birth. Have you never lived?
Just kidding about cats giving birth. No one needs to see that. Or have it happen in a laundry basket in their lap. Trust me on this one.
The reason people hate Brussels sprouts is because all they know of them are the boiled-to-death mushy blobs their moms used to force them to eat before they could have dessert.
My mom can (and will) correct me if I’m wrong, but I have absolutely no recollection of ever getting in parent-against-child battles over vegetable consumption. Until I became a vegetarian, of course, at which point everyone was like, “TOO MANY VEGETABLES, KATIE.” Certainly my brother battled to the death over vegetables because he announced at a very young age that he would never eat anything orange or green (he still doesn’t, I’d venture to guess), but not me. I’m the best one. I suppose I also don’t ever remember being offered a Brussels sprout, though, so perhaps this argument is null. There was this one time my dad offered me $100 to eat a calamari and I was like, “Absolutely not.” If the child-sized version of myself had the adult-sized bills I have these days, I probably would’ve taken him up on it.
Is this post about Brussels sprouts?
SO YES… The solution to your Brussels sprout aversion is to stop boiling them. This is a terrible idea and should be banned in all kitchens across the globe. The best way to prepare Brussels sprouts is to roast them to a golden, crispy char.
- All the Brussels sprouts you can stand, halved
- Olive oil
- Preheat oven to 450 degrees (high heat, better char)
- Cut off the stems of the Brussels sprouts and then cut them in half
- Drizzle olive oil over a baking sheet and arrange Brussels cut side down
- Bake for about 20 minutes or until the bottom side browns
- Flip Brussels over and bake 5-8 more minutes
- Season with salt and perhaps more olive oil
- Shovel into your face whilst standing over the stove
Another popular way to prepare Brussels sprouts is to shave and then saute them. But it’s winter and I can’t even muster the motivation to shave my own legs so if you think I’m shaving Brussels sprouts you’ve got another thing coming.