Happy Caturday from DC. I’m in town for Share Our Strength’s Conference of Leaders to learn about ending childhood hunger in the US (and hopefully meet Ted Allen from Chopped, swoon).
I’m staying at my friend Amber’s apartment and catsitting her cat Tassey who is named after our favorite college bar. Naturally.
As you can perhaps already tell, Tassey is the size of a Mack truck and has seven toes on each hand.
And he’s a little sensitive about it.
(He’s meowing, not hissing.)
I like Tassey because he talks to me all day just like Weaz. Unlike Weaz he shuts up at night and in the wee hours of the morning, which is ideal. Also Weaz talks about things like sprinkles and unicorns and Tassey prefers to ramble on about Hemmingway.
(See what I did there? Cat people know.)
Anyway, if you think my trip to DC was smooth sailing you’re clearly new here so… Welcome to my life where literally nothing I do is smooth.
My plan to leave on time was thwarted by Joey Donut, who somehow covered herself and my bathroom in poop, thus necessitating a bath on my way out the door.
She is still available for adoption and I can’t imagine why no one wants her. [Eyeroll]
I arrived in DC just five hours past my ETA around 11pm after an impromptu meet up in Staunton, Virginia where my itinerary was sidelined by this cup of Virginia peanut butter and chocolate gelato.
I also had real food in the form of a vegan vegetable stack with eggplant, roasted red peppers and creamed spinach atop a medallion of grits at AVA Restaurant & Wine Bar.
Upon my arrival in DC, I couldn’t find the apartment much less the hidden key to get in it so I spent a solid thirty minutes prowling around the bushes like a murderer. I would not blame Amber’s neighbors for calling the police on me.
This morning I had grand plans to practice at Down Dog Yoga, enjoy a leisurely breakfast and do a lot of nothing. Instead I spent an hour walking in the wrong direction… weighed down with a yoga bag and mat… sweating… and crying… coffee-less.
I swear to you I was moving in sync with the little blue dot on my Google map navigation. I also promise I have lived in and navigated cities bigger than Charlotte and that I am a capable and functioning member of society. Not today, though. Not today.
I did eventually get on a bus (where I got yelled at for not having exact change, of course) and make it to class. Properly sweat-drenched, I rolled over to SweetGreen for a falafel salad and blueberry basil limeade. Sweet redemption.
I’d love to hang out with everyone in town but Barack won’t stop texting me so I guess I gotta go swing by his place and play video games.