Apple Cinnamon Donuts

vegan donut

I was just telling my roommate how I’m ready to go back to school and finish up my RD. In case you missed it: Last year around this time I decided to walk with (just) a Master’s degree in nutrition and bypass another year-and-a-half of work to become a Registered Dietitian. I’ll finish it at some point but ehhhh… organic chemistry, man.

So basically all that stands between me and RD are two MF chemistry classes that I’d like to take this summer.

Well. Two MF chemistry classes that I’d like to take this summer and the donut ice cream sandwiches I made today.

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Light Up the Sky

I put an entire jar of peanut butter and a full bag of brown sugar into my Valentines. So if someone doesn’t love me this year, it’s not for lack of effort on my part.

I love Valentine’s Day. It’s one of my favorite holidays and always has been. The ornately decorated shoebox mailboxes in elementary school. The special V-Day breakfasts from my mom. The excessive candy. The love when you’re in love. The drunken nights out with your friends when you’re single and bitter. I love it all. I nominate it for second-best holiday (after Halloween).

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I have no grand plans for the day. Lots of business, actually. Plate Share meetings, teaching yoga twice, doling out peanut butter blondie hearts all over town.

I was up until 1am cranking out batches of what has become my signature recipe (that isn’t even my recipe). And it was then that I realized (again) that all I really want out of life is a small vegan bakery/cafe with a yoga studio upstairs. That’s all.

I make the peanut butter blondies from Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar at least once a month and no one ever complains. You can find the fool-proof recipe here: vegan peanut butter blondies.

What I learned this time around is that if you cut the blondies into hearts, you get to eat all the leftover edges.

In other news, has anyone ever died from peanut butter blondie overdose?

Happy Valentine’s Day, lovemuffins.

And still after all this time the Sun has never said to the Earth
“You owe me.” Look what happens w love like that. It lights up the sky.
- Rumi

Banana Muffin Breakfast Sandwich

If you’ve come here for a sausage patty topped with a fried egg and sandwiched between two banana muffins… you’ve come to the wrong place. (But Paula Deen will gladly help you out there.)

This breakfast sandwich is more just a muffin that’s been lightly pan-toasted and stuffed with fruit and nut butter. But ain’t nothin’ wrong with that, right?

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Any time I make muffins I end up making one of these “sandwiches.” I am very much a fork-and-knife kind of diner because otherwise I feel like I haven’t really eaten anything. (Hence, my desire to eat my smoothies with a spoon.) I guess I feel like slurping a smoothie from a straw or popping a muffin straight into my mouth just isn’t as satisfying as it is when silverware is involved.

After you’ve made the muffins (and you can use any muffins), this is not so much a recipe as an assembly of different foods. If you’re not sure which muffins you want to make, I’ll say that lately I’ve been digging anything of the almond flour/meal variety.

I suppose not everyone receives a sack of almond meal for Christmas, but not everyone has my mom. So while you brood over how inferior your stocking was without a sack of almond flour in it, I’ll tell you what to make once you go buy your own.

Almond Flour Banana Muffins

Every single recipe I came across online for these was some variation of this exact recipe: banana nut bread. So rather than try and reinvent the wheel, I’m sharing that with you below because for some reason every time I share a link to a recipe everyone is all, “WHERE IS THE RECIPE DO YOU HAVE A LINK???”

Almond Flour Banana Muffins
Author: 
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 

Serves: 12
 

Ingredients
  • 3 cups almond flour
  • 2 teaspoons baking soda
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • 3 teaspoons cinnamon
  • ¼ cup coconut oil (or any oil you have)
  • 3 large eggs
  • 2 ripe bananas, mashed
  • 3 teaspoons vanilla

Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line muffin tins with liners
  2. Combine dry ingredients (almond flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon)
  3. In a separate bowl mash banana and mix in oil, eggs, and vanilla
  4. Add wet ingredients to dry and stir to combine
  5. Pour batter into muffin cups and bake 19 – 21 minutes

A few things that are different in the recipe I posted here vs on their website:

  • I baked for a shorter time because they were baking a full loaf and I did muffins.
  • I changed the order in which things are mixed in because their way just had too many bowls and steps
  • I omitted nuts but you could put them back in.

NOW… To turn your muffin into a breakfast sandwich…

Muffin Breakfast Sandwich Assembly

  1. Slice the muffin in half
  2. Grease a skillet and toast your muffin halves on each side
  3. Leave the hot pan and add about a tablespoon of oil, chopped fruit of choice (I used apples), cinnamon and nutmeg
  4. Saute the fruit until tender, adding splashes of water any time the pan looks dry
  5. In a bowl combine about a tablespoon of nut butter, 2 teaspoons milk, and a splash of maple syrup if you want
  6. Assemble your sandwich by adding nut butter sauce and sauteed fruit
  7. So good.

Healthyass Coconut Brownies

I wanted to lie to you about what these brownies are because they’re “Paleo” and I don’t feel like explaining that I’m not Paleo because it goes against everything I believe about food and health and brownies but that I’m still totally eating Paleo for 28 days because I’m a walking contradiction and am genuinely curious about why people do it and if it’s even possible for a vegetarian to survive without all the things you’re not allowed to eat. (Which is everything.)

Whew.

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I don’t know how it happened, exactly, but I put about as much thought into this little experiment as I do most other things in my life: 45 seconds.¬†What ha’ happened was… A few of my friends were going to work out at Fight Gone Mad and then hang around for the following nutrition lecture. And I was like, “Ok I’m in.” That was it.

So here I am a week into the 28-to-Life program making brownies out of dates and figs and being all, “Are those Starbursts Paleo?”

I’m not going to get into what this diet is or whether or not I think it’s a good idea or whether or not I’d recommend it to other people. Yet. I’m giving it the full 28 days first and then I’ll report back. For now I’ll say that I feel awesome but that I doubt it will last much longer considering the severely low protein intake trap vegetarians fall into when you take away their beans, lentils, rice, peanuts, soy, dairy, etc. I think there are components of the Paleo diet I can agree with and support, and there are others I simply can’t get behind. I predict that I’ll walk away from this with some things to add to my all-vegetarian, heavily-vegan, pro-baked-goods, occasionally-raw-and-gluten-free-on-accident lifestyle and some things to leave in the “no, thank you” pile.

Anyway, let’s eat brownies.

This recipe is not mine. I found it on PaleOMG, a popular paelo recipe blog that I find to be pretty delightful even as a non-paleo eater.

Recipe: Magic Brownie Bars

Several substitutions I made:

  • 10 medijool dates and 5 dried figs (because I ran out of dates)
  • almond meal instead of coconut flour (because I didn’t have any)
  • maple syrup instead of honey (because I didn’t have any)
  • 2 tablespoons full-fat coconut milk (because I don’t know what coconut cream concentrate is)
I’d like to tell you that I did not eat this entire pan in four days, but the theme of this post is not lying to you so… There’s that.
For having no flour, they’re surprisingly cake-like. And sweet enough despite limited sweetener thanks to lots of fruit.

These do not taste like real brownies and if you’re into super-decadent desserts, they probably won’t appeal. But if you’re eating nothing but eggs and vegetables and fruit and for four weeks, they’re kind of the best thing ever.

I suppose the real question is whether or not I’d make these again after the 28 days is up, and the answer is: YEP. So that’s gotta count for something.

Seriously though, let’s hold the Paleo questions and critique debate until I’m done. I promise I’ll give a full report on what I experience, how the “science” of Paleo weighs against the “science” I’ve studied, the food that is awesome, the food that sucks, etc.

Vegan Peanut Butter Blondies

It’s been brought to my attention that the world has not been properly introduced to my new boyfriend (who I do not regret to inform you is not Sean Lowe).

I’ve been artfully dodging the question in interviews and on Facebook because it’s a bit of a delicate situation considering we work together. But without further adieu…

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Meet Wedgie.

Wedgie is my roomate’s dog. She adopted him just before I went missing from the Internet for four months so he hasn’t gotten nearly as much face time as he should. We’re in contractual negotiations now for a “Wedgie Wednesdays” installment on the blog. He’s very demanding. Stay tuned.

Until then, by “work together” I mean that I work from home and he sleeps on the couch all day. It’s a good dynamic.

The best thing about Wedgie is that he looks like a lobster. We’re not quite sure what he is, but based on his physical appearance our best educated guess is that he’s a potbelly pig-cow-lobster mutt. Actually, he’s a pitbull-bassett, and if you think that’s the weirdest possible dog combination of all time I’d like to introduce you to this bassett-Newfoundland I met at the bar over the weekend:

Bassett hounds are slutty apparently.

Anyway. The worst thing about Wedgie (other than his atomic farts) is that he loves peanut butter.

As most good dog owners do, my roommate has this Kong that she fills with peanut butter to keep him occupied while she’s at work. The problem with this, of course, is that when she’s at work I’m at home, and when I’m at home I have to listen to him manhandle the Kong.

When I tell you that the sounds that come out of that dog’s mouth when he’s going at that peanut butter are X-rated, I mean that they make me really, really uncomfortable and I wish I could bleep them out. It’s probably the worst sound I’ve ever heard.

In honor of Wedgie’s inappropriate love of peanut butter, I made these vegan peanut butter blondies because they are a less offensive way to deliver peanut butter straight to the face than by sucking it out of a rubber tube. Cringe.

Vegan Peanut Butter Blondies
Author: 
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 

 

Ingredients
  • ¾ cup peanut butter
  • ⅓ cup oil
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • ¼ cup nondairy milk
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1 cup flour
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • ½ teaspoon baking powder

Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  2. Line an 8×8 baking dish with parchment paper or coat with non-strick spray
  3. Mix together wet ingredients (peanut butter through vanilla extract)
  4. In a separate bowl whisk together dry ingredients
  5. Pour dry ingredients into wet and stir to combine
  6. Spread dough into pan and bake for 22 to 25 minutes
  7. Let cool completely before cutting

This recipe is fool-proof, and I highly recommend buying Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar. I do not highly recommend adopting a lobster dog that loves peanut butter. (That’s not true. I love Wedgie.)

You might also like:

Almond Butter Blondies

Fluffernutter Blondies

Vegan Peanut Butter Carob Bars

Banana Oat Bars with Peanut Butter Buttercream

The Best Vegan Brownies Ever